Articles by Anderson Tilley

Report: Guy in Honda Civic Pretty Sure He Can Make It up That Hill

CHESTERFIELD, Va. — Dismissing the dangerous road conditions as a mere inconvenience, Chesterfield resident Jason Akers is pretty sure his 2012 Honda Civic EX can make it up that hill, sources confirmed Monday. “Don’t worry about me, I’ve [read more ... ]

Yankee Candle Christmas Gift Not Doing Enough to Save Failing Relationship

ALEXANDRIA, Va. — Local couple Ron Bell and Susan Higgins are entering year three of their relationship as they ramp up for yet another Christmas together. For the third year in a row, Higgins told Bell that she doesn’t want anything and just [read more ... ]

McAullife: “This is the worst hangover I’ve had since my 2014 inauguration”

RICHMOND, Va. — Following former Vice President Joe Biden’s triumphant victory in the 2020 Presidential Election, former Gov. Terry McAullife announced this morning that he is suffering from his worst hangover in years. “Man, we cracked [read more ... ]

Catholic Diocese of Richmond Names Father John Misty Bishop in Order to Attract Youth

RICHMOND, Va. — Bishop Barry Knestout announced today that he will be stepping down as Bishop of the Catholic Diocese of Richmond and will be replaced by Father John Misty. Father John Misty, also known as folk singer, Josh Tillman, is neither [read more ... ]

Tourist in Shenandoah Determined to Feed Wildlife, Despite All of the Signs

SHENANDOAH NATIONAL PARK, Va. — Citing her bond with nature as ethereal and solidifying, Fredericksburg resident Jessica Thalmier is determined to feed the wildlife in Shenandoah National Park by any means necessary, sources confirmed Tuesday. [read more ... ]

William and Mary to Begin Accepting “Arm and Leg” as Tuition Payment

WILLIAMSBURG, Va. – Following a recent increase in tuition cost, the College of William and Mary has announced that they will now accept “an arm and a leg” as means of payment for attending the school. This new form of tuition has been [read more ... ]

Georgetown Alumnus Makes Sure You’re Aware He Knows Three Politicians Personally

WASHINGTON — Several Georgetown students were reportedly blown away during a Sunday afternoon networking event at the popular college bar, The Tombs, when recent alumnus Paul Brownstone assured his fellow Hoyas in no uncertain terms that he knew [read more ... ]

Dominion Buys Water Country USA; Uses Lazy River For Coal Ash Dump

WILLIAMSBURG, Va. — Dominion Energy has announced plans to purchase Water Country USA, a popular Williamsburg water park, with the intention of using the well-known Lazy River ride to dump excess coal ash. RELATED (article continued below): [read more ... ]

Visiting Californian Breaks Record for Most Complaints About Humidity in 24-Hour Period

RICHMOND, Va. — The Guiness Book of World Records announced yesterday that Taylor Elise Worthington of Encinitas, California, smashed the previous record for most complaints about Virginia’s famously oppressive humidity in a 24-hour period. [read more ... ]