Articles by Anderson Tilley

Virginia Beach Pleads to Beachgoers: “Stop and Visit on Your Way to the Outer Banks!”

VIRGINIA BEACH — In a move aimed at boosting local tourism and the economy, officials from the Tidewater Tourism Board (TTB) have issued a statement begging travelers and beachgoers to stop and visit Virginia Beach for once on your way to North [read more ... ]

Scientists Meet To Find Any Existing Reason To Go To Mechanicsville

RICHMOND, Va. – Earlier this week, researchers and scientists held a summit at Randolph Macon University to determine if, in fact, there are any plausible scenarios that would cause an individual to travel to Mechanicsville. RELATED (article [read more ... ]

Georgetown Alumnus Makes Sure You’re Aware He Knows Three Politicians Personally

WASHINGTON — Several Georgetown students were reportedly blown away during a Sunday afternoon networking event at the popular college bar, The Tombs, when recent alumnus Paul Brownstone assured his fellow Hoyas in no uncertain terms that he knew [read more ... ]

Op-ed: I’m a Monument Avenue Purebred and You Play Cornhole Where I Shit

Hey you. Yeah, you. Just who do you think you are? I may just look like an innocent purebred with perfect lineage I can trace back 14 generations, but I’ve got something to say to you. Every year, as spring slowly transitions into summer, you [read more ... ]

Altria Releases New Study Linking Lung Cancer to Karma, Not Cigarettes

RICHMOND, Va. — Results from a health study undertaken by Altria Group, Inc. were released today, revealing that one of the top causes of lung cancer is actually not cigarette and tobacco smoke, but the vengeful force of karma instead. Phillip [read more ... ]

Catholic Diocese of Richmond Names Father John Misty Bishop in Order to Attract Youth

RICHMOND, Va. — Bishop Barry Knestout announced today that he will be stepping down as Bishop of the Catholic Diocese of Richmond and will be replaced by Father John Misty. Father John Misty, also known as folk singer, Josh Tillman, is neither [read more ... ]

Mayor Stoney: “I Did Not Celebrate 4/20, Please Stop Asking”

RICHMOND, Va. — After fielding repeated inquiries from the city’s residents, Richmond Mayor Levar Stoney officially responded in a statement this morning that he did not celebrate 4/20, an unofficial holiday for marijuana smokers. “I’ve been [read more ... ]

Area Raccoon Disappointed In Museum District Garbage Selections

RICHMOND, Va. – After scavenging through the garbage of many Museum District residencies, a local raccoon has reportedly expressed massive amounts of dissatisfaction towards his findings. “I was really hoping for some leftovers from Fancy [read more ... ]

Levar Stoney Opens Lemonade Stand to Raise Money for Public Schools

RICHMOND, Va. — Stating that the idea worked when he was a kid trying to raise enough money for a Razor scooter, sources confirmed that Mayor Levar Stoney opened a lemonade stand on Saturday in an effort to help fund Richmond Public Schools. [read more ... ]