Articles by Jenna Carley

Justin Bieber to Join the Joel Bieber Law Firm

RICHMOND, Va. — The Joel Bieber Firm announced today that the newest member of his legal team will be none other than pop music star Justin Bieber. RELATED (article continued below): Joe Morrissey Hired as President Trump’s New [read more ... ]

Local Speakeasy Patron Suspects Bartender Has Made up at Least Half of Ingredients Listed in Cocktail

RICHMOND, Va. — After hearing about the squid ink demerara and the lavender sponge that supposedly went into her drink, local speakeasy patron Becky Hilliard began to suspect that the bartender was making up at least half of the ingredients in her [read more ... ]

New App Scrubs Tinder Pictures of Men Fishing, Women Shooting

ARLINGTON, Va. — In an attempt to alleviate a common issue with Tinder profiles, the developers behind the popular dating app have created a new expansion that helps eliminate the large numbers of photos showing men fishing and women shooting [read more ... ]

“Who’s Running in This Bitch Again?” Asks Shitfaced Terry McAuliffe in Voting Line on Election Day

RICHMOND, Va. — Reeking of various craft beers, a heavily intoxicated former Gov. Terry McAuliffe loudly yelled for someone to tell him who was running in the election, sources confirmed Tuesday. According to accounts, the former governor arrived [read more ... ]

Washington Sports Fan Ready to Post Parade Pictures on Three Separate Dating Sites

FAIRFAX, Va. — In the midst of the Washington Nationals winning their first World Series championship, one die-hard fan is excited to use the event as an opportunity to update the profile pictures on his numerous dating apps. RELATED (article [read more ... ]

Altria Cigarette Monument Diagnosed With Cancer

RICHMOND, Va. — Altria released a statement today confirming reports that its cigarette monument has been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. “This is sad news for all of us in the Altria corporate family,” the statement read in part. “We [read more ... ]

Following GWARbar Success, O.A.R. Bar Opens in Charlottesville to Much Fanfare, Bro

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. — When GWARbar opened its doors in Richmond’s historic Jackson Ward, the city greeted it with open arms, thrilled to patronize a business celebrating a legendary musical act with local ties. In Charlottesville, a new bar has [read more ... ]

Virginia Universities To Offer Degrees On How To Live With Student Debt

ALEXANDRIA, Va. – Speaking at the annual University Insight Conference held in Alexandria on Wednesday, president of university development Jennifer Burke unveiled plans for state universities to offer degrees and multiple courses on how graduates [read more ... ]

Global Sperry Shortage Causes Panic On UVA Campus

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. – What started out as a normal week at Charlottesville’s prestigious campus quickly spiraled into chaos as a worldwide shortage of Sperry’s brand of shoes struck the area. The shortage is the result of both insufficient [read more ... ]