Articles by Jenna Carley

Joe Morrissey Spotted in Voting Line With Brown Paper Bag Over His Head

HENRICO, Va. — Four years after his unsuccessful campaign as an independent candidate in Richmond’s 2016 mayoral election, Rep. Joe Morrissey (D-16th) was seen standing in line at his voting precinct wearing a brown paper bag over his head, [read more ... ]

“Who’s Running in This Bitch Again?” Asks Shitfaced Terry McAuliffe in Voting Line on Election Day

RICHMOND, Va. — Reeking of various craft beers, a heavily intoxicated former Gov. Terry McAuliffe loudly yelled for someone to tell him who was running in the election, sources confirmed Tuesday. RELATED (article continued below): Terry McAuliffe [read more ... ]

Following GWARbar Success, O.A.R. Bar Opens in Charlottesville to Much Fanfare, Bro

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. — When GWARbar opened its doors in Richmond’s historic Jackson Ward, the city greeted it with open arms, thrilled to patronize a business celebrating a legendary musical act with local ties. In Charlottesville, a new bar has [read more ... ]

Trump Team Accidentally Starts Border Wall At South Of The Border Resort

DILLON, S.C. — Last week, border wall construction officials mistakenly began building around the South of the Border resort in South Carolina, instead of along the intended U.S.-Mexican border. Since his presidential race began, Donald Trump has [read more ... ]

Manassas Resident Really Stretching Definition of D.C. Area

MANASSAS, Va. — Emphasizing that his hometown lies only a few minutes away from the nation’s capitol, Manassas resident Jacob Rich is really stretching the definition of the D.C. area, sources confirmed Sunday. Rich was recently seen in a [read more ... ]

Richmond Man Makes Fortune After Discovering Untapped Beard Oil Deposit

RICHMOND, Va. — A local man got the surprise of his life Thursday evening after discovering one of Richmond’s few remaining untapped beard oil deposits under the floor of his Fan apartment. RELATED (article continued below): Mechanicsville Votes [read more ... ]

Chief Martin Brody Declares Pony Pasture Closed Amid Shark Threat

RICHMOND, Va. — Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, Chief Martin Brody, formerly of the Amity Island Police Department and currently serving as the James River Park System Superintendent, has declared that Pony Pasture [read more ... ]

Quarantined Museum District Neighbors Beautifully Sing GWAR’s “Saddam a Go-Go” From Balconies

RICHMOND, Va. — A group of quarantined neighbors on the 1900 block of Grove Avenue helped pass the time by singing Gwar’s popular song “Saddam a Go-Go” in unison, sources confirmed Tuesday. RELATED (article continued below): Following [read more ... ]

Escape Room RVA Announces New Rule: Failed Participants End Up at District 5

RICHMOND, Va. — Escape Room RVA has created a new rule for groups unable to complete the escape room puzzle and is now sending failed participants to District 5, a restaurant and bar in the city’s Fan District. “We wanted to increase the [read more ... ]