Articles by Jenna Carley

Global Sperry Shortage Causes Panic On UVA Campus

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. – What started out as a normal week at Charlottesville’s prestigious campus quickly spiraled into chaos as a worldwide shortage of Sperry’s brand of shoes struck the area. The shortage is the result of both insufficient [read more ... ]

Arlington Trivia Team Unable to Agree on Snarky Name, Disbands

ARLINGTON, Va. — Unable to handle the pressures of choosing a snarky yet sophisticated name for their group, an Arlington-based trivia team has chosen to disband and dissolve its membership effective immediately. Witnesses to the dispute claim [read more ... ]

Local Man Dead After Being Caught in Stench Nexus of Carytown Vape Cloud

RICHMOND, Va. — Area man David Hodson perished on the 3000 block of West Cary Street yesterday afternoon. Having purchased a birthday card and tastefully whimsical gift for a friend from Mongrel, he was walking up the street to his car when he [read more ... ]

Life-Size Monument of the Richmond Coliseum Proposed on Site of Current Coliseum

RICHMOND, Va. — After constant speculation regarding the future of the Richmond Coliseum, city officials announced Wednesday plans to replace the Coliseum with a life-size monument of the Richmond Coliseum. “Since Richmond is a city filled with [read more ... ]

Richmond City Council Passes Resolution to Argue More Next Week

RICHMOND, Va. — It was announced this morning that the Richmond City Council successfully passed a resolution granting an immediate continuance to argue more in the coming week. The resolution passed with a rare unanimous vote and came just as the [read more ... ]

Ghost of Video Fan Employee Haunts Redbox Patrons

RICHMOND, Va. — Local patrons of the popular video rental service Redbox have complained to company officials about bizarre happenings during their checkout experience at Richmond locations. Reports of a disembodied voice complaining about the [read more ... ]

Chief Martin Brody Declares Pony Pasture Closed Amid Shark Threat

RICHMOND, Va. — Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, Chief Martin Brody, formerly of the Amity Island Police Department and currently serving as the James River Park System Superintendent, has declared that Pony Pasture [read more ... ]

Terry McAuliffe Challenges Entire CNN Newsroom to Game of Flip Cup After Chris Cuomo Interview

ATLANTA — Insisting that there would be enough time in the upcoming commercial break for a full game, former Virginia Gov. Terry McAuliffe challenged CNN’s newsroom to a game of flip cup following his appearance on Cuomo Prime Time, sources [read more ... ]

Officials Warn Attacks From Terrorist Organization Known as “Seasonal Allergies” on the Rise

RICHMOND, Va. — A joint investigation between the Virginia Department of Health and the Virginia State Police has uncovered a plot by noted terrorist organization Seasonal Allergies to infect the state with nasal and upper respiratory symptoms [read more ... ]