Articles by The Peedmont Staff

Bernie Sanders’s Proposed “IPAs for All” Healthcare Plan Met With Criticism From Stout Community

AFTON, Va. — Senator and Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders presented his new beer-centric healthcare plan at a virtual rally, originally planned to take place at Devil’s Backbone Base Camp, on Monday. RELATED (article continued [read more ... ]

Report: It’s Still Fucking Monday Even While Working From Home

EVERYWHERE — Despite the fact that Virginia’s workers don’t have to physically travel to their offices due to COVID-19, the Virginia Department of Labor has confirmed that it’s still fucking Monday while working from home. “Unfortunately, [read more ... ]

Closure of Public Beaches Improves Virginia Beach by 200% Overnight

VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. — Following Gov. Ralph Northam’s stay-at-home order that included closures of all public beaches, Virginia Beach saw an overall quality improvement of nearly 200% overnight, the Virginia Beach Tourism Board (VBTB) announced [read more ... ]

Half-Empty PBR Can Trashed After Months on Porch Missed by Community

RICHMOND, Va. — With mixed emotions, a Richmond neighborhood bids farewell to a well-known fixture in the community. Last week it was discovered that the half-empty can of PBR that had sat proudly on the porch railing at 1004 Park Ave. since [read more ... ]

Chesterfield Dad Driven to Day Drinking Trying to Teach Son “New Math”

CHESTERFIELD, Va. — Now that schools in the Commonwealth have closed, parents are being forced to actually pay attention to what their children are learning. Among these new, and thus wrong and frightening, topics is what has been termed “new [read more ... ]

Stay-At-Home Policy Forces Roommates to Publicly Address Living Room Masturbation Issue

RICHMOND, Va. — Gov. Ralph Northam’s stay-at-home order has caused Fan roommates Brian Kilsey, Matthew Nguyen, and Chris Nichols to finally address their ongoing living room masturbation issue, sources confirmed Tuesday. RELATED (article [read more ... ]

CDC Confirms 3rd Street Diner Patrons Only Bit of Population Immune to Coronavirus

ATLANTA — Explaining that frequenting the establishment can help build up an immunity to various diseases, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) confirmed on Sunday that 3rd Street Diner customers are immune to COVID-19. [read more ... ]

Is This Man the New Seal of Virginia?

RICHMOND, Va. — In recent months, the United States has been consumed by a fervor of discussion and action centering on revisiting, revising, and in certain cases replacing some of the nation’s oldest historical landmarks and traditions. As [read more ... ]

New Study Reveals 100% of Richmonders Base Grocery Store Options on Whether or Not They Carry Ukrop’s Baked Goods

RICHMOND, Va. — A new study commissioned by the Virginia Grocery Store Association (VGSA) has revealed that 100% of Richmonders pick their grocery store based on whether or not the store carries Ukrop’s baked goods, the department said Saturday. [read more ... ]