Articles by The Peedmont Staff
Opossum Not Hit by Car on Route 29, Signaling Six More Weeks of Unpredictable Weather
ALTAVISTA, Va. — Al the Altavista Opossum, Virginia’s own marsupial meteorologist, did not die on the side of the Route 29 today, meaning that Virginians can look forward to six more weeks of completely unpredictable weather. RELATED (article [read more ... ]
Quaint, Picturesque Shenandoah Valley Town Probably Racist
WESTON, Va. — As evidenced by the blend of Gadsden and MAGA flags, sources across the Commonwealth have confirmed that the picturesque Shenandoah valley town of Weston is likely racist. The town, which is nestled in the beautiful foothills of the [read more ... ]
Smug Fan Resident With Chicken Coop Even More Annoying Now
Classified Documents Found in Joe Morrisey Residence Showing He Has Seven More Kids Than He Thought
RICHMOND, Va. — In a complete surprise to absolutely nobody, a search of Sen. Joe Morrissey’s (D-16) home found documents revealing his fathership to seven more kids than he knew about, sources confirmed Wednesday. “The search of Mr. [read more ... ]
“People Moving From NOVA to Richmond Are Ruining Our City” Reports Guy Who Moved Here in 2018
RICHMOND, Va. — Claiming that gentrification is a serious problem throughout the city limits, current Richmond inhabitant and former Arlington resident Nicholas Chesley says there are too many people from Northern Virginia moving to Richmond, [read more ... ]
Aging Can of Bud Light Tearfully Watches as Local IPA Can Gets Font-of-Shelf Treatment Again
CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. — Sadly watching as he plays second fiddle to yet another craft beer, an aged can of Bud Light hopelessly watched as more IPAs took front and center in the beer cooler for the fifth consecutive week, sources confirmed [read more ... ]