NoVA & DC

Statewide Rainfall Helps Refill Drained Swamp

WASHINGTON, DC – Donald Trump will have his hands full over the next few days after state-wide rains caused a devastating refilling of the political swamp. The combination of heavy rain and large number of political commentators has [read more ... ]

Entire Family Reported Missing in Renaissance Festival Wench’s Cleavage

CROWNSVILLE, Md. — Police were baffled Saturday when a family of four went missing in a wench’s cleavage at the annual Maryland Renaissance Festival. The Mitchell family — David, 46, Anne, 43, and their children Charles, 11, and Scott, 9 — [read more ... ]

Spotsylvania Voted “Best Place to Drive Past” Fifth Year in a Row

FREDERICKSBURG, Va. — For the fifth consecutive year, Spotsylvania County claimed victory today in the Virginia Tourism Board’s (VTB) annual “Best Place to Drive Past” contest. The winner was revealed by Amanda Conrad, a representative from [read more ... ]

Corey Stewart Vows to Rise Again in Senate Race

WOODBRIDGE, Va. — Corey Stewart recently announced his decision to run for the U.S. Senate just weeks after his loss to Ed Gillespie in the Republican gubernatorial primary. “Tim Kaine wants to turn this country into a bunch of pigeon-livered, [read more ... ]

Fairfax Resident Discovers Left Turn Signal On Vehicle

FAIRFAX, Va. – It was a mixture of exploration and revelation yesterday when Northern Virginia resident Noah Richards discovered the left turn signal feature on his vehicle while driving to work. Richards recounted his experience in a [read more ... ]

Stone Brewery Truck Overturns on I-95, Highway is Totally Lit Fam

THORNBURG, Va. — At 10 a.m. yesterday, a refrigerated truck carrying approximately 1,000 cases of Richmond-made Stone Brewery beers overturned on Interstate 95 near Thornburg. The cause of the accident has been attributed to an unknown mechanical [read more ... ]

Area Woman Expected to Still Call Publix “Ukrop’s”

COLONIAL HEIGHTS, Va. — In what many are calling a harrowing display of dedication and brand loyalty, Short Pump resident Martha DeFord, 54, is expected to refer to Publix as “Ukrop’s” even after the upcoming switch-over. Witnesses report [read more ... ]

Sugar Shack Unveils “Budweiser and Dip” Donut for New Hanover County Location

HANOVER, Va. — Continuing the trend of innovative recipes for their popular donuts, Sugar Shack announced today the introduction of their newest menu item: a handcrafted donut infused with Budweiser beer and chewing tobacco (commonly referred to [read more ... ]

NOVA Man’s Commute So Long He Claims Metro Train as Legal Residence

FAIRFAX, Va. — In a bold move, with potential legal ramifications that have yet to be fully realized, a Northern Virginia man has claimed a Metro train as his legal residence for tax purposes. “I crunched the numbers, and I realized I spend more [read more ... ]