NoVA & DC

New App Scrubs Tinder Pictures of Men Fishing, Women Shooting

ARLINGTON, Va. — In an attempt to alleviate a common issue with Tinder profiles, the developers behind the popular dating app have created a new expansion that helps eliminate the large numbers of photos showing men fishing and women shooting [read more ... ]

Wegmans to Eliminate Plastic Bags; Walmart to Offer Used Oil Drums for Shoppers

RICHMOND, Va. — In response to the announcement by Wegmans last month that they plan to eliminate plastic bags in local stores, Walmart stores in the Richmond area announced that they will start offering used oil drums for customers to use in [read more ... ]

Jeff Sessions Seen Auditioning for Tysons Corner Christmas Elf

TYSONS, Va. — After being forced to resign by President Trump, former Attorney General Jeff Sessions was spotted this week by early Christmas shoppers at Tysons Corner Center trying out to be one of Santa’s helper elves, sources confirmed [read more ... ]

Washington Sports Fan Ready to Post Parade Pictures on Three Separate Dating Sites

FAIRFAX, Va. — In the midst of the Washington Nationals winning their first World Series championship, one die-hard fan is excited to use the event as an opportunity to update the profile pictures on his numerous dating apps. RELATED (article [read more ... ]

Lincoln Memorial Receives Complaints for Blocking Views of Fans in Stands

HOUSTON, Tx. — Complaining that the statue’s enormous figure was keeping them from seeing the game, fans at Minute Maid Park say the Lincoln Memorial obstructed views for many during game six of the World Series, sources reported Tuesday [read more ... ]

Ralph Northam And Justin Trudeau Couples Halloween Costume Draws Criticism

RICHMOND, Va. — As autumn approaches and excitement for Halloween grows, one couple sought to hit the ground running with what they called a “tasteful” couples costume of noted blackface enthusiasts, Governor Ralph Northam and Canadian Prime [read more ... ]

A Peedmont Guide to Dealing with Northern Virginians During the World Series

After fifteen seasons of missed opportunities, unrealized potential, frustration, and outright irrelevance, the Washington Nationals have finally made it to the World Series. And following Wednesday’s road win against the Houston Astros, the [read more ... ]

Passenger Jumps out of Uber to Avoid Conversation with Driver

TYSONS CORNER, Va. — In a desperate attempt to avoid discussing what he does for work and how long he’s lived in the area, Arlington resident David Murphy jumped out of an Uber after his driver made numerous failed attempts at [read more ... ]

Nationals Fans Excited to Watch Their Dreams Die One Week Later Than Usual

WASHINGTON — After celebrating their franchise’s first NLDS series victory in its 50-year history, Washington Nationals fans expressed excitement for the opportunity to lose later in October than they’ve been accustomed to otherwise, officials [read more ... ]