NoVA & DC

In Light of ‘Fund Our Future’ Rally, Northam Bans No. 2 Pencils

RICHMOND, Va. — Following the ‘Fund Our Future’ rally in which hundreds of teachers protested for increased funding for public schools, Gov. Ralph Northam has instituted a temporary ban on No. 2 pencils in the classroom. RELATED (article [read more ... ]

Area Woman Expected to Still Call Publix “Ukrop’s”

COLONIAL HEIGHTS, Va. — In what many are calling a harrowing display of dedication and brand loyalty, Short Pump resident Martha DeFord, 54, is expected to refer to Publix as “Ukrop’s” even after the upcoming switch-over. Witnesses report [read more ... ]

Manassas Resident Really Stretching Definition of D.C. Area

MANASSAS, Va. — Emphasizing that his hometown lies only a few minutes away from the nation’s capitol, Manassas resident Jacob Rich is really stretching the definition of the D.C. area, sources confirmed Sunday. Rich was recently seen in a [read more ... ]

Virginia General Assembly Relocated 500 Feet Away From School Tours to Accommodate Joe Morrissey

RICHMOND, Va. — Members of the Virginia General Assembly were forced to relocate on the first day of the 2020 legislative session because the presence of Sen. Joe Morrisey conflicted with a pre-planned tour of high school students, sources [read more ... ]

Tysons Corner Parking Garage Standoff Hits Hour 92

TYSONS CORNER, Va. — In the madness of the Christmas shopping rush, a standoff between drivers for a parking space in Tysons Corner Parking Garage C has hit its 92nd hour, officials confirmed Saturday. RELATED (article related below): Our online [read more ... ]

Family Traveling From Fairfax to Richmond Leaves Now to Make It in Time for Christmas

FAIRFAX, Va. — Determined to make it to her mother’s house in Richmond by Christmas morning, Lydia Manderson and her family are leaving their Fairfax County home right now, sources confirmed Monday. RELATED (article continued below): Ralph [read more ... ]

People Willing to Share Legal Opinions on Facebook Do Not Know What Impeachment Is

WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump has become the third President in American history to be impeached, resulting in many of our readers sharing extensive, complex legal opinions as to the pros and cons inherent in the process. Unfortunately, [read more ... ]

Officials Monitoring Migrant Caravan of Tech Bros Moving Across the US in Search of Amazon Jobs

ARLINGTON, Va. — The announcement of Amazon’s HQ2 location in Arlington has sparked a migrant caravan of tech bros moving across the US in search of job opportunities, sources confirmed Tuesday. RELATED (article continued below): The [read more ... ]

Ralph Northam Assures Virginia He Will Not Participate in Black Friday

RICHMOND, Va. — Still reeling from his blackface scandal last February, Gov. Ralph Northam has assured Virginia that he has no intention to participate in Black Friday this year. RELATED (article continued below): Ralph Northam Attends Virginia [read more ... ]