Richmond

Guy With Unleashed Dog at Maymont Assures Everyone Nothing Going to Happen, Probably

RICHMOND, Va. — An otherwise uneventful day at the picturesque Maymont park became fraught with unease when suddenly a bright green tennis ball flew through the air just above the luscious grass, followed immediately after by an untethered German [read more ... ]

In Obvious Deal With Satan, UVA Football Ranked No. 25 in AP Poll

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. — UVA football opened this week as the 25th-ranked college team in the country according to the AP Top 25 poll, in what was clearly the result of a bargain with the Prince of Darkness, Satan himself. RELATED (article [read more ... ]

Danville Rebrands Itself as One Massive Escape Room

DANVILLE, Va. — After their attempt to sell the city on QVC resulted in only a series of calls to the network complaining that the price was too high, civic leaders in Danville have decided to take a new approach by turning the entire city into an [read more ... ]

Alex Smith Hopes They Just Kill Him Next Time

LANDOVER, Md. — In a somber press conference delivered after Tuesday’s team practice, Washington Redskins quarterback, Alex Smith told members of the press that while he’s uncertain of his playing future at this stage in his recovery from last [read more ... ]

Richmond Residents Start Boarding Up Homes In Anticipation Of Hurricane Guy Fieri

RICHMOND, Va. — Following warnings from both the National Weather Service and the National Gastronomy Service, Richmond residents have begun boarding windows and preparing their homes for the imminent threat of Hurricane Guy Fieri. When word came [read more ... ]

Guy Who Spent Seven Minutes on Civil War Wikipedia Page Ready to Get Into It in the Comments Section

MECHANICSVILLE, Va. — After spending a total of seven minutes on Wikipedia researching the Civil War, Mechanicsville resident Martin Clark felt prepared to go off in the comments section of a Richmond Times-Dispatch Facebook post, sources [read more ... ]

GOP Accuses Danica Roem of Bribing Voters With Earnest, Responsive Constituent Service

WOODBRIDGE, Va. — In a scathing rebuke against “an alarming pattern of corruption and official misconduct,” the Prince William County Republican Committee has accused Del. Danica Roem, D-13th, of attempting to obtain votes “through the [read more ... ]

Newly Discovered Dinosaur Fossils Reveal Roanoke Meth Problem Goes Back Millennia

ROANOKE, Va. — A pair of paleontologists shocked the scientific community today with their discovery that dinosaurs who lived near Roanoke during the Triassic Period may have succumbed to a meth overdose. The news further supports Roanoke [read more ... ]

Fan Resident OK With Going Wherever for Dinner Tonight

RICHMOND, Va. — In a classic case of dining indifference, a local Fan resident is OK with going wherever for dinner tonight, sources confirmed Saturday. RELATED (article continued below): Fan Resident Trained For Seven Months To Complain About [read more ... ]