Richmond

Engineering Student Discovers VCU Compass Does Not Point North

RICHMOND, Va. — While studying for an upcoming test in the open air of Virginia Commonwealth University’s famous Compass Plaza, junior engineering student Samantha Mayer noticed that something was amiss. “It was the shadows of the buildings [read more ... ]

Barack Obama Elementary Faces Backlash for Controversial Tan Suit Dress Code

RICHMOND, Va. — Spearheaded by Republican politicians and commentators nationwide, a wave of criticism has fallen upon Barack Obama Elementary School after the school’s recent decision to enforce a universal dress code requiring all students to [read more ... ]

Bottled Water and Toilet Paper Party Is Church Hill Man’s Desperate Attempt to Get Some Use out of Hurricane Supplies

RICHMOND, Va. — In an effort to make quick use of some of non-perishable items purchased in advance of Hurricane Florence, Church Hill resident Nicholas Tillman held a Bottled Water and Toilet Paper Party over the weekend, sources confirmed [read more ... ]

Carytown Vape Store to Begin Offering “Avoid Me” Fedoras

RICHMOND, Va. — In a visionary feat of marketing, e-cigarette and vaporizer shop Carytown Cloud City connected with its core demographic of neckbearded untouchables by offering free fedoras with “Avoid Me” printed across the front with the [read more ... ]

State of Emergency Declared; Mechanicsville Resident Believes Name of State Has Been Changed to Emergency

MECHANICSVILLE, Va. — Following Gov. Ralph Northam’s decision to declare a state of emergency in advance of Hurricane Florence’s arrival, Mechanicsville resident Harry Richards now believes he lives in a new state called “Emergency,” [read more ... ]

Stormy Daniels Loses Papermoon Gig to Some Chick Named Florence

RICHMOND, Va. — Adult film actress Stormy Daniels was notified through her lawyer Michael Avenatti on Thursday that her much-anticipated performance at Richmond’s premier gentleman’s club, Papermoon, would be bumped for some no-name hussy [read more ... ]

Richmond Young Professional Only Mentions “Lower Cost of Living” 34 Times in Conversation with D.C. Colleagues

WASHINGTON — At a recent Capital One team conference in Washington D.C., Richmond resident Alicia Erikson took it upon herself to tell her colleagues multiple times of the lower cost of living she benefits from in central Virginia. “Just so [read more ... ]

Karen Shows up to Pony Pasture in Riding Pants, Disappointed

RICHMOND, Va. — A plethora of little horsies eager to be ridden — that’s what VCU Freshmen Karen Whicker was expecting to find on her first visit to Pony Pasture. RELATED (article continued below): Texas Beach Votes to Secede From Richmond [read more ... ]

Secco Wine Bar Offers Discounted Tasting Menu Upon Proof of Third Divorce

RICHMOND, Va. – Secco Wine Bar, located in the Fan, has just announced a discounted tasting menu for all three-time divorced customers. Secco originally opened in Carytown in 2009 as an upscale wine bar with a vast array of wines from around the [read more ... ]