Richmond

Richmond City Donates 7,000 Apples to Local Teachers in Lieu of Increasing Education Budget

RICHMOND, Va. —Thanks to an innovative partnership with Carter Mountain Orchard, Publix, J. Sargeant Reynolds Community College, Apple Inc., and several community leaders, Richmond Public Schools (RPS) announced plans to donate 7,000 apples to [read more ... ]

Charlottesville Resident Drives 70 Miles to Use Buy One, Get One Free Dippy Deal at Saladworks

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. — Following the discovery of an enticing bargain, sources recently confirmed that a Charlottesville resident drove over 70 miles to use a discount from coupon company Dippy Deals at a Saladworks restaurant in Richmond. The [read more ... ]

Disagreement Over Pronunciation of Powhite Parkway Leads to Divorce

RICHMOND, Va. — Henrico residents Melinda and Michael Phillips have reportedly filed for an immediate and uncontested divorce. The couple, who just observed their seventh wedding anniversary, claims their marriage has been crumbling for years over [read more ... ]

McAuliffe Invites All of Star-lite Back to Capitol to Play Cornhole

RICHMOND, Va. — After a Fireball-soaked Saturday night at Star-lite Diner and Lounge, Governor Terry McAuliffe invited everyone in the bar back to his house to play cornhole with him. Witnesses state that McAuliffe, who is known for his [read more ... ]

“Aren’t you a little young for that?” Asks Ed Gillespie to Kid at Plan 9 Looking Through Vinyl

CARYTOWN, Va. — While browsing through various used records at popular music shop Plan 9, Ellis Ralston, 26, was reportedly approached by Republican gubernatorial candidate Ed Gillespie who commented that Ralston looked too young to be collecting [read more ... ]

Conservative Wants to Make Left Turn, Decides That’s a Good Enough Reason to Remove Monuments

RICHMOND, Va. — Mechanicsville resident Jimmy Davis recently disclosed that, despite his previous beliefs, he is now open to removing the monuments on Monument Avenue in order to make driving on the road more manageable. Davis, a roofer by trade, [read more ... ]

City Announces Plan to Begin Construction on Every Road Involved in Your Commute

RICHMOND, Va. — During a press briefing the City of Richmond Department of Public Works announced a new plan to start roadwork on absolutely every street you use to get to your workplace. Starting first thing tomorrow morning, crews will be [read more ... ]

Tensions Rise As Group Text Enters 4th Week Of Brunch Negotiations

RICHMOND, Va. – Tensions within a local group text rose precipitously this afternoon following three weeks of failed negotiations for weekend brunch. The text conversation, named “Lit Fam,” includes close college friends Brad, Courtney, [read more ... ]

Ed Gillespie Walks Up to GWARbar, Sighs Deeply, Walks Away

RICHMOND, Va. — As the Virginia gubernatorial race enters its home stretch, candidates have been sighted all over the state pulling out all the stops to boost their numbers. Well, almost all the stops. In a recent attempt to win over some portion [read more ... ]