Richmond

Undercover Operation Finds Baker in Sauer’s Sign Not Paid a Living Wage

RICHMOND, Va. — The Virginia Department of Labor and Industry (DOLI) announced the completion of a 10-month undercover investigation after receiving an anonymous tip that the baker in the famous C.F. Sauer Company sign was not being paid a living [read more ... ]

VCU Basketball Excited to Begin Fourth Year of Irrelevance Under Coach Not Shaka Smart

RICHMOND, Va. — Anticipating yet another season of completely forgettable games, VCU basketball has expressed eagerness to begin playing again under the coaching of someone who’s not Shaka Smart, sources confirm Friday. RELATED (article [read more ... ]

Patron Permanently Banned From Edo’s Squid for Requesting an Ingredient Substitution

RICHMOND, Va. — What was intended to be a relaxing Saturday evening dinner at Edo’s Squid turned into chaos for Shannon Webster, who was escorted out of the establishment and permanently banned after requesting an ingredient substitution on her [read more ... ]

Doctor Confirms Participant in Richmond Marathon Still Going to Die One Day

RICHMOND, Va. — Explaining that his healthy nature and superior endurance ultimately mean nothing, local doctors announced today that Anthem Richmond Marathon participant Christopher Locklear will still eventually die. Dr. Sharon Dorner, a [read more ... ]

Fan Resident OK With Going Wherever for Dinner Tonight

RICHMOND, Va. — In a classic case of dining indifference, a local Fan resident is OK with going wherever for dinner tonight, sources confirmed Saturday. RELATED (article continued below): Jeans Still Damp After Seventh Cycle in Fan [read more ... ]

Joe Morrissey Spotted in Voting Line With Brown Paper Bag Over His Head

HENRICO, Va. — Two years after his unsuccessful campaign as an independent candidate in Richmond’s 2016 mayoral election, lawyer Joe Morrissey was seen standing in line at his voting precinct wearing a brown paper bag over his head, witnesses [read more ... ]

“Who’s Running in This Bitch Again?” Asks Shitfaced Terry McAuliffe in Voting Line on Election Day

RICHMOND, Va. — Reeking of various craft beers, a heavily intoxicated former Gov. Terry McAuliffe loudly yelled for someone to tell him who was running in the election, sources confirmed Tuesday. According to accounts, the former governor arrived [read more ... ]

VCU Student’s Civic Responsibility Stops at Free Sticker

RICHMOND, Va. — While young voters across the Commonwealth mobilize ahead of the midterm elections, one VCU student has decided that her responsibilities as an American citizen and Virginia resident stop right around the point of getting a free [read more ... ]

God Postpones Apocalypse After Hiking Through Shenandoah Fall Foliage

HEAVEN — As his majestic voice beckoned throughout the clouds above, God announced yesterday that he has decided to postpone his forthcoming apocalypse until further notice after taking a hike through the autumn-colored wilderness of Shenandoah [read more ... ]