Richmond

Richmond City Council Meeting Postponed Due to Agreement

RICHMOND, Va. — A Richmond City Council meeting scheduled for July 23 has been postponed after council members discovered that they were in complete agreement on every issue on the upcoming docket. Council President Chris Hilbert attributes the [read more ... ]

Situation Intensifies at Church Hill Four-Way Stop as Four Drivers’ Refusal to Go First Enters Fourteenth Hour

RICHMOND, Va. — Reporters are on the scene of an incident in Church Hill as four cars remain at a complete standstill at a four-way stop. The drivers, stopped at the intersection of 27th and Leigh Streets, tell press that they can’t figure out [read more ... ]

Grandstaff & Stein Speakeasy Now Offering Night in Jail to Commemorate Prohibition

RICHMOND, Va. — Local speakeasy Grandstaff & Stein has begun offering a new promotion, allowing customers to enhance their prohibition era experience by spending one night in jail. General Manager Theodore “Bugsy”” Rockefeller explained [read more ... ]

RVA Bumper Sticker Condemned to Life Next to OBX and CrossFit Bumper Stickers

RICHMOND, Va. — Following its owner’s purchase of two new bumper stickers, an RVA bumper sticker has been sentenced to life between an OBX sticker and CrossFit sticker. Sources confirmed that Richmond resident Jared Forg had purchased two new [read more ... ]

Jefferson Hotel Having Second Thoughts About Instituting Giant Jenga During Tea Time

RICHMOND, Va. — The Jefferson Hotel has served Richmond since 1895, bringing a high level of class and sophistication to the city and those wanting to take their marital infidelity to the next level. However, these past few months, in an attempt [read more ... ]

Friendship Level Confirmed by Friend Who Didn’t Share Tots at Sticky Rice

RICHMOND, Va. — In an apparent effort to lose all of his friends, Richmond native and selfish asshole Chris Baker ordered a bucket of tots at Sticky Rice without sharing, sources confirmed Sunday. A small group of friends had gathered at Sticky [read more ... ]

Fairfax Seen Running out of Executive Mansion With Jar to Catch Lightning Bugs

RICHMOND, Va. — Remarking on his excitement about all the glowy things flying around in the front yard of the Executive Mansion, Lt. Gov. Justin Fairfax was seen running outside with a jar to catch lightning bugs, sources confirmed Friday. “I [read more ... ]

Chesterfield Man Celebrates Fourth of July by Breaking Multiple Different US Flag Codes

CHESTERFIELD, Va. — Chesterfield resident and self-described patriot Phil Henderson has begun his Fourth of July festivities as he does every year, by disrespecting and desecrating the flag of the United States in new and exciting ways. A vocal [read more ... ]

Altria Cigarette Monument Gets Cancer

RICHMOND, Va. — Altria released a statement today confirming reports that its cigarette monument has been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. “This is sad news for all of us in the Altria corporate family,” the statement read in part. “We [read more ... ]