Richmond

Area Woman Expected to Still Call Publix “Ukrop’s”

COLONIAL HEIGHTS, Va. — In what many are calling a harrowing display of dedication and brand loyalty, Short Pump resident Martha DeFord, 54, is expected to refer to Publix as “Ukrop’s” even after the upcoming switch-over. Witnesses report [read more ... ]

Man Rages Inside Dollar Tree; Total Damage Amounts To $52

RICHMOND, Va. – A quiet afternoon in downtown Richmond yesterday turned tragic when a man left a path of destruction in a local Dollar Tree store costing approximately $52 in damages. Rex MacDrunke, 32, has been arrested for entering the [read more ... ]

Gun Advocates Reward Selves With a Pat on the Back After Not Shooting Anyone at Rally

RICHMOND, Va. — Following a rally in support of the Second Amendment that saw no violence, gun enthusiasts rewarded themselves with a pat on the back for not shooting anyone, sources confirmed Tuesday. The rally, which attracted thousands of [read more ... ]

Man Strapped With Guns Physically Can’t Make Walk up 9th Street

RICHMOND, Va. — Huffing and puffing with all of his might, gun rights advocate John Borshman tried to attend Monday’s rally but was unable to make the hike up 9th street due to the weight of the multitude of firearms he was carrying, sources [read more ... ]

Gun Group Mistakenly Shows up at Capital One Café

RICHMOND, Va. — Expressing some confusion as they walked into the coffee shop and bank situated in the heart of Carytown, a visiting gun group mistakenly showed up to Capital One Café for today’s gun rally instead of the State Capitol, [read more ... ]

Parallel Parking Nearly Thwarts Capitol Square Gun Rights Rally

RICHMOND, Va. — A massive demonstration by gun rights advocates at Capitol Square on Monday was nearly over before it began when thousands of participants found themselves incapable of parallel parking successfully. RELATED (article continued [read more ... ]

Virginia County Says “Fauquier Gun Rights” and “Fauquier Second Amendment”

WARRENTON, Va. — While some Virginia towns are becoming sanctuary cities for gun rights, Fauquier County is taking things one step further by trademarking the phrases “Fauquier Gun Rights” and “Fauquier Second Amendment.” County [read more ... ]

Richmond Fuckboi Excited to Meet, Harass a New Set of Targets at Women’s March

WASHINGTON — For the third year in a row, Richmond area fuckboi Logan Hill is reportedly excited to travel to Washington, D.C., this weekend, where he is expected to try to pick up as many hot chicks as possible at this Saturday’s Women’s [read more ... ]

Main Street China Dragon Declares Itself Richmond Chinatown

RICHMOND, Va. — Determined to plant a seed of Chinese culture in the midtown area of the city, China Dragon owner Jing Li declared her restaurant the official Richmond Chinatown, sources confirmed Wednesday. RELATED (article continued below): VCU [read more ... ]