Richmond

Texas Beach Votes to Secede From Richmond

RICHMOND, Va. — Beloved summer hangout Texas Beach has shocked locals by suddenly voting to secede from Richmond and become its own fully autonomous territory. City officials received a certified letter in the mail early Friday morning notifying [read more ... ]

Half-Empty PBR Can Trashed After Months on Porch Missed by Community

RICHMOND, Va. — With mixed emotions, a Richmond neighborhood bids farewell to a well-known fixture in the community. Last week it was discovered that the half-empty can of PBR that had sat proudly on the porch railing at 1004 Park Ave. since [read more ... ]

MCV Now Offering Lobotomies To Forget Everyone In Richmond Is A High School Acquaintance

RICHMOND, Va. – An experimental and wildly controversial procedure has placed the medical community of Richmond in the international spotlight. The VCU Medical Center has begun offering elective lobotomies for residents who look to erase all [read more ... ]

Jerry Falwell Jr. Warns Students “Beware the Trap of Trap Music”

LYNCHBURG, Va. — Students attending summer programs at Liberty University received a dire warning from university president Jerry Falwell Jr. during their weekly student convocation: to beware the trap of Trap music. The admonition came after [read more ... ]

Chief Martin Brody Declares Pony Pasture Closed Amid Shark Threat

RICHMOND, Va. — Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, Chief Martin Brody, formerly of the Amity Island Police Department and currently serving as the James River Park System Superintendent, has declared that Pony Pasture [read more ... ]

New Research Suggests 17 Percent of Richmond Is in No BS! Brass Band

RICHMOND, Va. — A recently released study suggests that approximately 17 percent of Richmonders are members of the local funk-jazz musical group No BS! Brass Band. This is shockingly low, due to the band’s seemingly immense size in relation to [read more ... ]

Dominion Energy Riverrock Festival to Feature New Coal Ash Obstacle Course

RICHMOND, Va. — Organizers for the tenth annual Dominion Energy Riverrock festival announced today the addition of a new coal ash-themed athletic competition to headline Saturday’s event lineup. The “Ash Bash 5k ObstaCoal Rumble” is expected [read more ... ]

Catholic Diocese of Richmond Names Father John Misty Bishop in Order to Attract Youth

RICHMOND, Va. — Bishop Barry Knestout announced today that he will be stepping down as Bishop of the Catholic Diocese of Richmond and will be replaced by Father John Misty. Father John Misty, also known as folk singer, Josh Tillman, is neither [read more ... ]

Dominion Hires Ja Rule as Environmental Consultant for Riverrock Festival

RICHMOND, Va. — Dominion Energy has retained the services of rapper and amateur event planner Ja Rule to coordinate this year’s Dominion Riverrock Festival. Fresh off the success of 2017’s Fyre Festival, Ja Rule was brought in to add his own [read more ... ]