Richmond

Supreme Court Accepts Bob McDonnell’s “Get Out Of Jail Free” Monopoly Card

WASHINGTON — In a preliminary hearing through the appeals court Wednesday, the Supreme Court formally accepted former Virginia governor Bob McDonnell’s first piece of evidence in his ongoing corruption case: a signature “Get Out Of Jail [read more ... ]

Virginia Residents Place Last In Jaywalking Competition

NORFOLK, Va. — It was a beautiful weekend for Norfolk to play host to the American National Jaywalking Tournament, held in December every year. Residents from all over Virginia joined in on the massive competition in which participants attempt to [read more ... ]

Man Prepares For Fatherhood By Cradling Breakfast Burrito

SPRINGFIELD, Va. – Nothing changes a family dynamic quite like pregnancy will. The decision to be a parent is not a light one, and has been known to cause the impending parents-to-be to freak out. No more was that true than with local Ross Harvey, [read more ... ]

FDA Announces Sugar Shack Donuts As Official Food Group

SILVER SPRING, Md. – Following a lengthy study on the nutritional value and effects of Richmond’s famous Sugar Shack Donuts, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) announced this week that the popular pastry brand has officially been declared a [read more ... ]

New Study Finds You Will Hit Every Stoplight Red When Late For Work

FAIRFAX, Va. – A new study surfaced last week that has confirmed what many scientists and researchers have hypothesized for far too long: “There is indeed a correlation between running late for work in the morning and hitting every goddamn [read more ... ]

Museum District Resident Upset About Roaches That Don’t Help With Rent

RICHMOND, Va. – Reports are coming in that Adam Weldon, a Museum District resident, has experienced absolutely no help with rent from the roaches that also reside in his un-renovated, single-bedroom fan apartment. Weldon, a resident of the area [read more ... ]

Area Man Gets Lost “Finding Himself” On Appalachian Trail

FRONT ROYAL, Va. – What started out as an adventurous trek through nature for a moment of self-reflection has turned into panic for friends and family of Jonathan Filmore, who has been reported missing after leaving for a hiking excursion on [read more ... ]

Area Office Employee Can’t Decide On What Task To Procrastinate First

WOODBRIDGE, Va. – Throughout what has been described as an “insipid, truly uninspiring day of astronomical proportions,” Richard Shirley, a regional analyst for Capital One, is reportedly having trouble on selecting a task to [read more ... ]

Five Dead From Malnutrition While Stuck In Traffic For Williamsburg Outlets On Black Friday

WILLIAMSBURG, Va. — Now that the rancorous 2016 election is finished, Americans are about ready for retail therapy. For a lot of us, we’ll be leaving our steaming turkey dinners and acrimonious families in pursuit of marked-down [read more ... ]