Statewide

New Kent County Offers to Rename Itself Buc-ee’s County in Bid for Popular Travel Store

NEW KENT, Va. — Following a bid to possibly acquire the popular gas station and travel store Buc-ee’s, representatives from the New Kent County Council have offered to rename the area Buc-ee’s County, sources confirmed Tuesday. “Getting a [read more ... ]

Amanda Chase Proposes Virginia Defense Forces Shoot Down Liberal Looking Cloud in Sky

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Opossum Not Hit by Car on Route 29, Signaling Six More Weeks of Unpredictable Weather

ALTAVISTA, Va. — Al the Altavista Opossum, Virginia’s own marsupial meteorologist, did not die on the side of the Route 29 today, meaning that Virginians can look forward to six more weeks of completely unpredictable weather. RELATED (article [read more ... ]

Report: Oderus Urungus and Dirtwoman Still Leading Write-in Votes

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Youngkin Blames Abundance of Highly Educated Voters for Preventing Red Wave Throughout Commonwealth

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Report: Creep Who Bullied You In High School Expected to Vote Today

YOUR LOCAL DISTRICT — Following the political turmoil that has swept the nation over the last few years, Chad Smith, a creepy acquaintance that bullied you multiple times throughout high school is expected to vote alongside you today, sources [read more ... ]

Amanda Chase Casts Vote by Shooting Myle’s Name on Ballot With AR-15

MIDLOTHIAN, Va. — In the early hours of election day, poll workers were startled when Sen. Amanda Chase, R-11, insisted on using her semi-automatic assault rifle to exercise her right to vote. RELATED (article continued below): Amanda Chase [read more ... ]

Glenn Youngkin Wears Lucky Sweater Vest To Polling Station

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In Competitive Move Against Musk, The Peedmont Acquire LimeWire

RICHMOND, Va. — Following Elon Musk’s recent purchase of Twitter, The Peedmont has successfully acquired famed peer-to-peer file sharing program LimeWire, sources confirmed Monday. “We’re excited to acquire what was one of the most popular [read more ... ]