carytown

Mongrel Introduces South Richmond Wastewater Treatment Plant Scented Candle

RICHMOND, Va. — Mongrel, a store known for having “Cool Stuff for All Breeds of Humans,” has been a Carytown staple since 1991. On any given visit patrons are sure to find an eclectic assortment of items, such as garden gnome salt and pepper [read more ... ]

Op-ed: I’m a Monument Avenue Purebred and You Play Cornhole Where I Shit

Hey you. Yeah, you. Just who do you think you are? I may just look like an innocent purebred with perfect lineage I can trace back 14 generations, but I’ve got something to say to you. Every year, as spring slowly transitions into summer, you [read more ... ]

Group of Curious VCU Students Enter One Eyed Jacques, Exit as Newly Formed Dwarf Guild

RICHMOND, Va. — During a walk through Carytown, a group of five freshman hallmates from VCU entered the local hobby store One Eyed Jacques, only to exit as a Dwarf Guild, with a new bond as strong as steel forged in the hottest furnaces of Erebor. [read more ... ]

Tree House in Museum District Backyard Sells for $1.2 Million

RICHMOND, Va. — The latest example of the seller’s market for Richmond real estate manifested itself when a tree house in the backyard of a home on the 3300 block of Grove Avenue sold for $1.2 million last week, sources confirmed today. [read more ... ]

UFC Announces Upcoming Fight in Ellwood Thompson’s Parking Lot

RICHMOND, Va. — Speaking in front of an eager crowd at the popular Ellwood Thompson’s supermarket in Richmond’s Museum District, UFC officials announced an exhibition parking lot brawl between two esteemed neighborhood fighters. The grand [read more ... ]

Doctor Confirms Participant in Richmond Marathon Still Going to Die One Day

RICHMOND, Va. — Explaining that his healthy nature and superior endurance ultimately mean nothing, local doctors announced today that Anthem Richmond Marathon participant Christopher Locklear will still eventually die. Dr. Sharon Dorner, a [read more ... ]

Report: Arts Major Who Hasn’t Cleaned in Four Years Blames Landlord for Poor Conditions

Richmond, Va. — Recent VCU graduate, Kellen Heinrich has finally had enough of the poor living conditions he faces in his Grace Street apartment, which he has lived in for four years, and fully blames his landlord, Craig Jerrell. Heinrich, who [read more ... ]

Local Man Dead After Being Caught in Stench Nexus of Carytown Vape Cloud

RICHMOND, Va. — Area man David Hodson perished on the 3000 block of West Cary Street yesterday afternoon. Having purchased a birthday card and tastefully whimsical gift for a friend from Mongrel, he was walking up the street to his car when he [read more ... ]

Local Fuckboi Disappointed by First Trip to Babe’s

RICHMOND, Va. — Claiming he thought the name of the establishment meant something very different, area fuckboi Dylan Miller was completely disappointed by his first trip to Babe’s of Carytown, sources confirmed Sunday. “God damnit, this is [read more ... ]