carytown

Ghost of Video Fan Employee Haunts Redbox Patrons

RICHMOND, Va. — Local patrons of the popular video rental service Redbox have complained to company officials about bizarre happenings during their checkout experience at Richmond locations. Reports of a disembodied voice complaining about the [read more ... ]

Rocketts Landing Resident Assures Friends in the Fan “It’s Really Not That Far Away”

RICHMOND, Va. — Local resident McKayla Turner recently moved from her rental apartment in the Fan to a townhouse that she purchased in Rocketts Landing. However, she discovered that it’s been very difficult to convince her friends who live [read more ... ]

Local Monument Vandal Currently Taking Requests

RICHMOND, Va. — In an effort to bring diversity and creativity to the traditional practice of defacing Confederate monuments, Carytown resident Jimmy Lakash announced today that he is currently taking requests for upcoming acts of vandalism. [read more ... ]

Report: Diversity Thrift Inventory 90 Percent “This End Up” Furniture

RICHMOND, Va — A recent study found that 90 percent of the donated items available at Diversity Thrift are from This End Up Furniture Company. RELATED (article continued below): Poll Results Say Ukrop’s, Not Publix, Should Go in Former Carytown [read more ... ]

Poll Results Say Ukrop’s, Not Publix, Should Go in Former Carytown Martin’s Location

RICHMOND, Va. — A new poll conducted by the Carytown Merchants Association has revealed that the neighborhood’s residents favor a revived Ukrop’s grocery store taking the place of the former Martin’s location. RELATED (article continued [read more ... ]

West Avenue Association to Require All Visitors to Take Shoes Off Before Entering

RICHMOND, Va. — West Avenue’s neighborhood association just voted to implement a new policy in which all visitors must remove their shoes before walking through the street. West Avenue occupants and neighborhood officials told the press that [read more ... ]

New Poll Finds 67% Of Richmond Unsure How To Pronounce Burger Bach

RICHMOND, Va. — The results of a recent Gallup poll were announced today, revealing 67% of the Richmond metropolitan population are still not sure how to pronounce the name of local hamburger-based restaurant Burger Bach. RELATED (article [read more ... ]

Fan Haunted House Revealed to Be Goth Roommate’s Shitty Bedroom

RICHMOND, Va. — After an extensive study spanning one long weekend, VCU anthropology major Jessica Martin has revealed that a popular haunted house in the Fan, frequented by many black-clad men of ill repute, was in fact just her gothic [read more ... ]

Carytown Vape Store to Begin Offering “Avoid Me” Fedoras

RICHMOND, Va. — In a visionary feat of marketing, e-cigarette and vaporizer shop Carytown Cloud City connected with its core demographic of neckbearded untouchables by offering free fedoras with “Avoid Me” printed across the front with the [read more ... ]