Charlottesville

Biden Opens Competing Charlottesville Winery

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. — Presidential candidate and former Vice President Joe Biden will soon open a winery in Charlottesville to compete with Trump Winery, his campaign confirmed Sunday. RELATED (article continued below): Trump Team Accidentally [read more ... ]

Exhibitionist Leaf Very Excited for Upcoming Foliage Festival

WAYNESBORO, Va. — Whenever someone mentions the Waynesboro Fall Foliage Festival (WFFF), Scarlett A. Oak, a developed leaf from a local 77-year-old white oak tree, glistens with excitement. That’s because, at this year’s festival, Scarlett [read more ... ]

Tinder Date Feigns Excitement About Going Apple Picking

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. — Expressing a false enthusiasm for fall-related outdoor activities, local resident Eric Bernard agreed to go apple picking on his first date with Tinder match Katie Simmons, sources reported Friday. “This girl’s photos [read more ... ]

Following GWARbar Success, O.A.R. Bar Opens in Charlottesville to Much Fanfare, Bro

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. — When GWARbar opened its doors in Richmond’s historic Jackson Ward, the city greeted it with open arms, thrilled to patronize a business celebrating a legendary musical act with local ties. In Charlottesville, a new bar has [read more ... ]

Trump Mistakes Buena Vista for Mexican Town, Tries to Impose Sanctions, Sends ICE Agents

BUENA VISTA, Va. — Laboring under the belief that places with Hispanic-sounding names must be full of illegal immigrants, President Donald Trump has imposed economic sanctions against Buena Vista and has sent a team of Immigration and Customs [read more ... ]

Virginia’s Major Interstates, Ranked by Sexiness

While Virginia is known for a variety of fascinating topics, one particular aspect stands out like a glowing beacon of irresistible lust: infrastructure. So we did the research on Virginia’s major interstates, and have finally reached a [read more ... ]

Area Karen Has Just One Salad to Carry Her Through Four Vineyard Tours

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. — Mechanicsville native and soccer mom of five Karen Henderson remains confident that a kale and cucumber salad will be enough sustenance to carry her through four different Charlottesville winery tours. RELATED (article [read more ... ]

“Did you know that the moonshine in ABC stores is fake?” Says Guy Who Just Fucking Got Here

RICHMOND, Va. — During a recent work happy hour, North Carolina native Steven McComas, who just fucking got here, informed his co-workers that the moonshine sold in ABC stores is actually fake. McComas, who relocated from Raleigh for a job at [read more ... ]

Is This Man the New Seal of Virginia?

RICHMOND, Va. — In recent months, the United States has been consumed by a fervor of discussion and action centering on revisiting, revising, and in certain cases replacing some of the nation’s oldest historical landmarks and traditions. As [read more ... ]