chesterfield county

Chesterfield Dad Driven to Day Drinking Trying to Teach Son “New Math”

CHESTERFIELD, Va. — Now that schools in the Commonwealth have closed, parents are being forced to actually pay attention to what their children are learning. Among these new, and thus wrong and frightening, topics is what has been termed “new [read more ... ]

Nikki-Dee Ray Leading in Key “Your Dad” Demographic, Much to Mom’s Chagrin

RICHMOND, Va. — Audience measurement systems have noticed an interesting trend among those who view Richmond’s televised local news. “We’ve noticed that married men with children, roughly aged between 40 and 70, what we call the ‘your [read more ... ]

Health Concerns Emerge as Teens Use Chesterfield Factory Smog to Get High

CHESTERFIELD, Va. — A new trend of teens using smog from the Chesterfield Power Station to get high has raised concerns throughout the Richmond metropolitan area. The sensation, dubbed “Chesterbasing,” recently became popular among the [read more ... ]

Northam Hires Marie Kondo to Tidy up Hopewell

HOPEWELL, Va. — In an effort to tidy up the city and rediscover the joy that hasn’t been seen since most of the factories shut down, organizing consultant Marie Kondo has been retained by Gov. Ralph Northam to lend her services to Hopewell. [read more ... ]

Chesterfield County Teacher in Constant State of Arousal at the Thought of Impending Snow Day

CHESTERFIELD, Va. — Describing the feeling as a complete and irresistible tease, Winterpock Elementary School teacher Brian Grandoff has been in a state of arousal on the eve of a potential snow day, sources confirmed Tuesday. “The prospect of [read more ... ]

Curt Autry’s Day Is Going Just Fine, Thank You for Asking

RICHMOND, Va. — Local NBC12 TV news reporter Curt Autry wants to assure Richmonders that his day is going just fine, and he thanks you for asking. A statement on Autry’s Facebook page simply read “I’M DOING JUST FINE…. The sky is blue, the [read more ... ]

Powhatan County Board of Supervisors to Move Monthly Town Hall Meeting From Wawa to Sheetz Gas Station

POWHATAN, Va. — After a lengthy review calculating the pros and cons of numerous prospective options, the Powhatan County Board of Supervisors announced today that they will now be holding their monthly meeting at the Sheetz gas station on [read more ... ]

Chesterfield County Jealous Of Henrico’s New Playground

MIDLOTHIAN, Va. — Following a decision by the Virginia Department of Conservation and Recreation, officials from Chesterfield County are reportedly displeased, dissatisfied, and downright envious of the Commonwealth’s decision to fund a gigantic [read more ... ]