Coronavirus

Northam Promises Marijuana Joints Available for All Virginians by Summer

RICHMOND, Va. — Furthering the commonwealth’s initiative to get the population high in time for summer, Gov. Northam announced that every Virginian who wants a marijuana joint will be able to get one legally starting on July 1, the governor’s [read more ... ]

COVID-19 Defeats VCU, Moves on To Second Round of NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament

RELATED: CDC Advises All Three Residents of Big Stone Gap To Remain Socially Distanced Until Pandemic Is OverVCU Assures Public That Whatever Replaces Mojo’s Will Serve the Best $14 Taco You Could Ask ForVCU 2020 Football Season Canceled [read more ... ]

Virginia Department of Health Confirms Craft IPAs Part of 1C Vaccine Group

RICHMOND, Va. — Stressing the importance of reducing the possible spread of COVID-19 from one bitter IPA to another, the Virginia Department of Health (VDH) has confirmed that craft IPAs are part of the 1C vaccine group, sources confirmed Sunday. [read more ... ]

New Poll Shows COVID-19 Vaccine Still Less Sought After Than Ukrop’s Fried Chicken

RICHMOND, Va. — Ukrop’s fried chicken is the only thing in Richmond more sought after than a COVID-19 vaccine, according to a study by the Greater Richmond Chamber of Commerce. RELATED (article continued below): Chicken Bones on Sidewalks [read more ... ]

Civil War Reenactment Troop Advised To Sanitize Hands Between Each Confederate Kill

MANASSAS, Va. — Hoping to avoid an unnecessary COVID-19 outbreak at an equally unnecessary event, the Virginia Department of Health (VDH) has advised a Civil War reenactment troop to sanitize their hands between each Confederate kill, sources [read more ... ]

CDC Advises All Three Residents of Big Stone Gap To Remain Socially Distanced Until Pandemic Is Over

ATLANTA — Citing concerns of a possible outbreak among the handful of residents that live in the rural southwest Virginia community, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) is advising all three residents of Big Stone Gap to keep [read more ... ]

Biden Announces Plan To Sell West Virginia To Pay for COVID-19 Relief Package

WASHINGTON — Fulfilling his campaign promise to cut government waste while fighting COVID-19, President Biden has decided to sell off the state of West Virginia to raise money for his COVID relief package, officials within the administration [read more ... ]

Op-Ed: Five Reasons Why I, an Unemployed Gen Z’er, Deserve the Vaccine Before Your Nana

There’s a global pandemic raging, hundreds of thousands of people have died in the United States alone, and I’ll be damned if some crusty old boomer gets the cure before I do. Unpopular opinion? Bite me. Here’s why all of my entitled, [read more ... ]

Op-Ed: Can We Just Skip to the Part in “Outbreak” Where We Try to Nuke the Entire City?

Like all of you, I’m sick and tired of this pandemic. I’m tired of working from home and having to deal with my coworker Steve’s shitty internet connection on our Zoom calls. I’m also completely over having to suffer through my partner’s [read more ... ]