Covid-19

Staunton Man Claims It’s His Constitutional Right to Contract COVID-19

STAUNTON, Va. — Confident in his knowledge of the Constitution of the United States of America after a quick skim, Rodney Walton of Staunton man has filed suit against the Commonwealth of Virginia claiming it’s his constitutional right to [read more ... ]

Concert Venue Requiring Vaccinations Still Won’t Clean Bathroom

RICHMOND, Va. — Despite providing bathroom facilities that haven’t been cleaned since the venue’s opening night in 1987, one of central Virginia’s premiere concert venues, The Bass-ment, has recently announced it will require proof of [read more ... ]

We Ranked the Dick Jokes Regarding the Johnson & Johnson Vaccine

As we wind down the clock on COVID-19 Pandemic, we thought it would be great to look back at the lighter moments of the pandemic. After all, the past fifteen months have clearly left us with plenty to laugh about (600,000 dead people is hilarious, [read more ... ]

High School Trip to Europe Replaced by Trip to Busch Gardens’ German Section

WILLIAMSBURG, Va. — A long-anticipated school trip to Europe was the latest victim of the COVID-19 pandemic, as a group of seniors from Chantilly High School were forced to instead visit the Germany section of Busch Gardens in Williamsburg, [read more ... ]

Arlington Bro Not Having Best Luck With “So Did You Get Vaccinated” Icebreaker on Tinder

ARLINGTON, Va. — A local man in Northern Virginia’s dating scene, Chet Hastings, has expressed extreme disappointment that his standard opening line of “so did you get vaccinated,” has met with a lackluster response, dating officials [read more ... ]

Yorktown Resident Willing To Set Foot In Water Country USA Wavepool Skeptical On Vaccinations

RICHMOND, Va. — Stressing that it never hurts to be cautious, Shelly Malynn, a Yorktown resident and mother of four that is willing to let her children indulge in the wave pool at Water Country USA, is hesitant on getting the COVID-19 vaccine, [read more ... ]

Joe Morrissey Pushes For Vaccinations for 16-Year-Old Girls

RICHMOND, Va. — Citing the importance of Virginia’s adolescents to get vaccinated as soon as possible, Sen. Joe Morrissey, D-16th, has called for COVID-19 vaccination efforts to focus on 16-year-old girls, sources confirmed Wednesday. RELATED [read more ... ]

CVS Pharmacist Advises Terry McAuliffe Not To Chase COVID-19 Vaccine With Falcon Smash IPA

RICHMOND, Va. — Stressing the importance of following health guidelines that don’t include downing a hoppy cold one to celebrate, former Gov. Terry McAuliffe was advised not to chase his COVID-19 vaccine with a Falcon Smash IPA, sources [read more ... ]

GWAR’s Blothar Publicly Receives COVID-19 Vaccine To Promote Importance of Alien Demon Health

RICHMOND, Va. — Hoping to influence other alien demons across the universe who may be hesitant to get vaccinated, Blothar, the lead singer of GWAR, publicly received the COVID-19 vaccine, the band confirmed Friday. RELATED (article continued [read more ... ]