Covid-19

High School Trip to Europe Replaced by Trip to Busch Gardens’ German Section

WILLIAMSBURG, Va. — A long-anticipated school trip to Europe was the latest victim of the COVID-19 pandemic, as a group of seniors from Chantilly High School were forced to instead visit the Germany section of Busch Gardens in Williamsburg, [read more ... ]

Arlington Bro Not Having Best Luck With “So Did You Get Vaccinated” Icebreaker on Tinder

ARLINGTON, Va. — A local man in Northern Virginia’s dating scene, Chet Hastings, has expressed extreme disappointment that his standard opening line of “so did you get vaccinated,” has met with a lackluster response, dating officials [read more ... ]

Yorktown Resident Willing To Set Foot In Water Country USA Wavepool Skeptical On Vaccinations

RICHMOND, Va. — Stressing that it never hurts to be cautious, Shelly Malynn, a Yorktown resident and mother of four that is willing to let her children indulge in the wave pool at Water Country USA, is hesitant on getting the COVID-19 vaccine, [read more ... ]

Joe Morrissey Pushes For Vaccinations for 16-Year-Old Girls

RICHMOND, Va. — Citing the importance of Virginia’s adolescents to get vaccinated as soon as possible, Sen. Joe Morrissey, D-16th, has called for COVID-19 vaccination efforts to focus on 16-year-old girls, sources confirmed Wednesday. RELATED [read more ... ]

CVS Pharmacist Advises Terry McAuliffe Not To Chase COVID-19 Vaccine With Falcon Smash IPA

RICHMOND, Va. — Stressing the importance of following health guidelines that don’t include downing a hoppy cold one to celebrate, former Gov. Terry McAuliffe was advised not to chase his COVID-19 vaccine with a Falcon Smash IPA, sources [read more ... ]

GWAR’s Blothar Publicly Receives COVID-19 Vaccine To Promote Importance of Alien Demon Health

RICHMOND, Va. — Hoping to influence other alien demons across the universe who may be hesitant to get vaccinated, Blothar, the lead singer of GWAR, publicly received the COVID-19 vaccine, the band confirmed Friday. RELATED (article continued [read more ... ]

Busch Gardens Issues One Month Lockdown for Italy Section of Park

RELATED: City Accidentally Blows up Kings Dominion Instead of Former Dominion Energy HeadquartersKings Dominion Officials to Close Volcano Due to Threat of Violent EruptionKings Dominion Compromises: “We’ll keep the Rebel Yell name, but the [read more ... ]

“We Don’t Know What’s in Those Vaccines,” Says Skeptic Who Snorted Coke From Stranger in Bathroom of The National

RICHMOND, Va. — Arguing that the COVID-19 vaccines were developed too quickly, West End resident and dedicated Umphrey’s McGee fan Kyle Taylor, who regularly did multiple types of drugs given to him by strangers while intoxicated during shows at [read more ... ]

Northam Promises Marijuana Joints Available for All Virginians by Summer

RICHMOND, Va. — Furthering the commonwealth’s initiative to get the population high in time for summer, Gov. Northam announced that every Virginian who wants a marijuana joint will be able to get one legally starting on July 1, the governor’s [read more ... ]