Covid-19

Jason Mraz Thanks Virginia’s Frontline Personnel by Promising Not to Sing Anything

OCEANSIDE, Calif. — In a move that’s been called “inspiring,” “brave,” and “exactly what we need right now,” singer Jason Mraz has agreed not to perform any of his music for front line workers in the commonwealth, the artist [read more ... ]

Gadsden Flag Snake Tests Positive for COVID-19

MECHANICSVILLE, Va. — After calling the world’s reaction to the virus an “an attack on the freedoms our forefathers fought to preserve,” the iconic snake in the Don’t Tread on Me Gadsden flag has tested positive for COVID-19, sources [read more ... ]

We Tried a Flight of Distilleries’ and Breweries’ Hand Sanitizers and Would Actually Prefer a Double IPA, Please

RICHMOND, Va. — Widespread instructions to douse our entire lives with sanitizer have created a massive demand for the alcohol-based disinfectant, leading many businesses impacted by COVID-19 to turn to another potential revenue source: producing [read more ... ]

Henrico Neighborhood New Year’s Eve Party To Enforce Mask Wearing During Midnight Kiss

GLEN ALLEN, Va. — In an effort to adhere to Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) guidelines, as well as make things pretty weird, a neighborhood party in Glen Allen is set to enforce mask wearing during the traditional kiss at [read more ... ]

Paper Moon Debuts Male Stripper Revue Called “The Stimulus Packages”

RICHMOND, Va. — “The Stimulus Packages are coming,” popular adult club Paper Moon announced today, revealing that their new well-endowed all-male revue, made up of a dozen or so oiled-up young stallions, will be performing this weekend. [read more ... ]

Byrd Theatre’s Wurlitzer Organ First Richmonder To Receive COVID-19 Vaccine

RELATED: Byrd Theatre To Offer Chiropractic Care During Lengthy ShowsCOVID-19 Leaves Southwest Virginia Out of Pure BoredomGovernor Northam Unsure How He, His Wife, and Their Pool Boy Tested Positive for COVID-19Ellwood Thompson’s [read more ... ]

CF Sauer To Make COVID Vaccine Extract in Time for the Holidays

RICHMOND, Va. — A local staple culinary delight is stepping into the medical field, as C. F. Sauer Company is set to release a COVID-19 vaccine extract in time for the holiday season, the company announced Friday. RELATED (article continued [read more ... ]

Report: COVID-19 Vaccine Side Effect Somehow Makes PBR More Desirable

NEW YORK CITY — A recent study of Pfizer’s COVID-19 vaccine found that it altered patient taste buds slightly, making Pabst Blue Ribbon somehow more desirable, sources confirmed Monday. “In our initial trials we have noticed that every subject [read more ... ]

Northam: “Fine, Fuck It. Go Get a Haircut.”

RICHMOND, Va. — Waving his arms in frustration, Gov. Ralph Northam announced his feelings of “fuck everything and everyone right now” in an official press release today. RELATED (article continued below): Trump Team Accidentally Starts Border [read more ... ]