Crozet

Crozet Tourism Board Announces 2023 Town Slogan “Shit’s Lit AF, Get Here Fam”

CROZET, Va. — On Thursday, the Crozet Tourism Board unveiled its new town slogan: “Shit’s lit AF, get here fam.” The new slogan is part of a township-wide campaign designed to boost tourism in the small Virginia town. Newly elected mayor [read more ... ]

Park Rangers Issue Warnings After Hiker Encounters Pack Of Basic Bitches

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. – A local hiker experienced an unnerving encounter yesterday after meeting a wild pack of basic bitches in Shenandoah National Park. Crozet resident, Gary Reinhart, had hiked approximately three miles of the Furnace [read more ... ]

Trump Mistakes Buena Vista for Mexican Town, Tries to Impose Sanctions, Sends ICE Agents

BUENA VISTA, Va. — Laboring under the belief that places with Hispanic-sounding names must be full of illegal immigrants, President Donald Trump has imposed economic sanctions against Buena Vista and has sent a team of Immigration and Customs [read more ... ]

“Did you know that the moonshine in ABC stores is fake?” Says Guy Who Just Fucking Got Here

RICHMOND, Va. — During a recent work happy hour, North Carolina native Steven McComas, who just fucking got here, informed his co-workers that the moonshine sold in ABC stores is actually fake. McComas, who relocated from Raleigh for a job at [read more ... ]