Democrats

Terry McAuliffe Dragged out by Event Security After Trying to Rush Presidential Debate Stage

CLEVELAND, Oh. — In a decision fueled by political determination and a blood alcohol concentration level of 0.12, former Virginia Gov. Terry McAuliffe was forcibly dragged out of the 2020 Presidential Debate after attempting to rush the stage, [read more ... ]

GOP Accuses Danica Roem of Bribing Voters With Earnest, Responsive Constituent Service

WOODBRIDGE, Va. — In a scathing rebuke against “an alarming pattern of corruption and official misconduct,” the Prince William County Republican Committee has accused Del. Danica Roem, D-13th, of attempting to obtain votes “through the [read more ... ]

Barack Obama Elementary Faces Backlash for Controversial Tan Suit Dress Code

RICHMOND, Va. — Spearheaded by Republican politicians and commentators nationwide, a wave of criticism has fallen upon Barack Obama Elementary School after the school’s recent decision to enforce a universal dress code requiring all students to [read more ... ]

Virginia Conspiracy Theorist Upset That Alex Jones May Never Reveal Terry McAuliffe as Lizard Man

LYNCHBURG, Va. — Fully convinced that state Democrats are secretly working with YouTube, Facebook, and Apple to silence the truth, area conspiracy theorist Nicholas Miller expressed outrage on his blog today that Alex Jones may never reveal former [read more ... ]

Democrats Run Puppy Against Tim Kaine in Primary, Kaine Endorses Puppy

RICHMOND, Va. — In a stunning move, incumbent Sen. Tim Kaine, D-Va., announced today his official endorsement of candidate Alfred Albie, a golden retriever puppy recently selected by the Democratic Party to run against Kaine in the Virginia [read more ... ]

Virginia Senate Passes Resolution Bypassing Democratic Elections for Rock-Paper-Scissors Matches

RICHMOND, Va. — With overwhelming support from the Republican majority, the Virginia Senate passed a resolution this morning that will officially allow rock-paper-scissors matches to take the place of popular democratic elections. This resolution [read more ... ]

Mechanicsville Resident Left With Bulk Order of Anti-President Clinton Stickers

RICHMOND, Va. — Elmer Hubbard, a Trump voter, was just as surprised as anyone else when the election results came rolling in. “The Lord has answered my prayers,” Hubbard said, “but not as to what I’m supposed to do with all these darn [read more ... ]