Dominion Riverrock

Altria Cigarette Monument Diagnosed With Cancer

RICHMOND, Va. — Altria released a statement today confirming reports that its cigarette monument has been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. “This is sad news for all of us in the Altria corporate family,” the statement read in part. “We [read more ... ]

Dominion Defends Controversial Decision to Bulldoze Entire Appalachian Mountain Range

RICHMOND, Va. — Claiming the decision was made with the best intentions, Dominion Energy is standing by their controversial commitment to completely destroy the Appalachian Mountain range. According to Dominion spokesperson Richard Deanders, the [read more ... ]

Dominion Energy Riverrock Festival to Feature New Coal Ash Obstacle Course

RICHMOND, Va. — Organizers for the tenth annual Dominion Energy Riverrock festival announced today the addition of a new coal ash-themed athletic competition to headline Saturday’s event lineup. The “Ash Bash 5k ObstaCoal Rumble” is expected [read more ... ]

Dominion Hires Ja Rule as Environmental Consultant for Riverrock Festival

RICHMOND, Va. — Dominion Energy has retained the services of rapper and amateur event planner Ja Rule to coordinate this year’s Dominion Riverrock Festival. Fresh off the success of 2017’s Fyre Festival, Ja Rule was brought in to add his own [read more ... ]

Trump Names Dominion’s Chief Lump of Coal as New Head of EPA

WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump has tapped former Dominion Energy executive and senior chunk of coal ash, Elliot Alesworth Bernard III, to replace the departing administrator of the Environmental Protection Agency, Scott Pruitt, who resigned [read more ... ]

Dominion Changes Logo From Finger to “D”: “Now We’re Giving People the D”

RICHMOND, Va. — In a bold rebranding move, Dominion Energy announced they are changing their logo from the signature “hand with outstretched fingers” image to a large, striped “D.” Shelton Durrell, a spokesperson for Dominion Energy, [read more ... ]