Dominion

Dominion Buys Water Country USA; Uses Lazy River For Coal Ash Dump

WILLIAMSBURG, Va. — Dominion Energy has announced plans to purchase Water Country USA, a popular Williamsburg water park, with the intention of using the well-known Lazy River ride to dump excess coal ash. RELATED (article continued below): [read more ... ]

City Accidentally Blows up Kings Dominion Instead of Former Dominion Energy Headquarters

RICHMOND, Va. — In a presentation that rivaled the theme park’s annual Fourth of July fireworks celebration, Richmond city officials accidentally destroyed Kings Dominion instead of the former Dominion Energy headquarters located downtown, [read more ... ]

Flaming Heap of Coal Named Grand Marshall for Dominion Christmas Parade

RICHMOND, Va. — In keeping with the company’s brand of environmentally reckless decisions, the grand marshal for the annual Dominion Energy Christmas Parade this Saturday will be a heap of burning coal, Dominion Energy announced today. [read more ... ]

Dominion to Bulldoze Median Trees to Make Way for Christmas Parade

RICHMOND, Va. — Dominion Energy announced today that it intends to plow through the medians and trees along the route of its annual Christmas parade. Citing the lack of space available for floats and attendees, the company plans to have bulldozers [read more ... ]

Altria Cigarette Monument Diagnosed With Cancer

RICHMOND, Va. — Altria released a statement today confirming reports that its cigarette monument has been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. “This is sad news for all of us in the Altria corporate family,” the statement read in part. “We [read more ... ]

Dominion Defends Controversial Decision to Bulldoze Entire Appalachian Mountain Range

RICHMOND, Va. — Claiming the decision was made with the best intentions, Dominion Energy is standing by their controversial commitment to completely destroy the Appalachian Mountain range. According to Dominion spokesperson Richard Deanders, the [read more ... ]

Dominion Promises That New Coliseum Will Be Powered by Whale Oil

RICHMOND, Va. — In a display of their attempts to utilize alternative energy sources, Dominion Energy announced today that it plans to power the new Richmond Coliseum with whale oil. RELATED (article continued below): Dominion Changes Logo From [read more ... ]

Dominion Energy Riverrock Festival to Feature New Coal Ash Obstacle Course

RICHMOND, Va. — Organizers for the tenth annual Dominion Energy Riverrock festival announced today the addition of a new coal ash-themed athletic competition to headline Saturday’s event lineup. The “Ash Bash 5k ObstaCoal Rumble” is expected [read more ... ]

Dominion Hires Ja Rule as Environmental Consultant for Riverrock Festival

RICHMOND, Va. — Dominion Energy has retained the services of rapper and amateur event planner Ja Rule to coordinate this year’s Dominion Riverrock Festival, sources confirmed Wednesday. Fresh off the success of 2017’s Fyre Festival, Ja Rule [read more ... ]