donald trump

White House Elf on the Shelf Revealed to be Ukranian Whistleblower

WASHINGTON — After months of anonymity, the whistleblower responsible for an official impeachment inquiry into President Donald Trump revealed themselves this morning via a scribbled note left next to a slightly opened cookie jar in the White [read more ... ]

Ghost of Herman Cain To Speak at Million MAGA March

WASHINGTON — The organizers behind the Million MAGA March announced today that the ghost of recently deceased political activist Herman Cain will be among those speaking at Saturday’s rally in support of President Trump’s claims of fraudulent [read more ... ]

Amanda Chase Volunteers To Hunt Appalachian Backwoods for Any Missing PA Ballots

SHENANDOAH, Va. — Claiming that Democrats had stolen Pennsylvania ballots in favor of President Trump and disposed of them across the Mid-Atlantic, State Sen. Amanda Chase, R-11, has volunteered to search the wilderness for missing ballots, [read more ... ]

McAullife: “This is the worst hangover I’ve had since my 2014 inauguration”

RICHMOND, Va. — Following former Vice President Joe Biden’s triumphant victory in the 2020 Presidential Election, former Gov. Terry McAullife announced this morning that he is suffering from his worst hangover in years. “Man, we cracked [read more ... ]

Northam Declares Mechanicsville a Safe Space for Distraught Republicans Following Biden Victory

MECHANICSVILLE, Va. — In an effort to care for those struggling with the news of Vice President Joe Biden’s election as the 46th President of the United States, Gov. Ralph Northam declared Saturday that Mechanicsville would become a designated [read more ... ]

Wait for Election Results Almost Old Enough To Date Joe Morrissey

LAS VEGAS — As days pass after the election, the wait for the much-anticipated presidential election results is almost old enough to date Virginia Rep. Joe Morrissey, D-16th, officials confirmed Thursday. RELATED (article continued below): [read more ... ]

Joe Morrissey Spotted in Voting Line With Brown Paper Bag Over His Head

HENRICO, Va. — Four years after his unsuccessful campaign as an independent candidate in Richmond’s 2016 mayoral election, Rep. Joe Morrissey (D-16th) was seen standing in line at his voting precinct wearing a brown paper bag over his head, [read more ... ]

Biden Opens Competing Charlottesville Winery

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. — Presidential candidate and former Vice President Joe Biden will soon open a winery in Charlottesville to compete with Trump Winery, his campaign confirmed Sunday. RELATED (article continued below): Trump Team Accidentally [read more ... ]

Biden Repeatedly Answers in the Form of a Question, Claims Buzzer Is Not Working

NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Claiming that his broken buzzer was causing him to trail behind incumbent President Donald Trump, former Vice President Joe Biden appeared confused at Thursday night’s debate, repeatedly providing answers to debate moderator [read more ... ]