donald trump

Guy Who Does Nothing for the Cause Marks Interested on Women’s March Facebook Event for Feminist Brownie Points

FAIRFAX, Va. — Despite contributing nothing toward the cause as a whole, Fairfax resident Brian Bellfield has shared on Facebook that he is interested in attending this year’s Women’s March. RELATED (article continued below): Trump Team [read more ... ]

Chesterfield Libertarian Maintaining Erection Throughout Government Shutdown

CHESTERFIELD, Va. — A prominent Libertarian and retired employee of the Pawnee, Indiana government has reported the current federal government shutdown has left him with a constant erection, sources confirmed Thursday. RELATED (article continued [read more ... ]

Richmond Government Threatens Shutdown Unless NOVA Pays for Wall at Fredericksburg Border

RICHMOND, Va. — Due to worsening bipartisan conflicts regarding a secure border with Northern Virginia, Richmond could be facing a possible government shutdown if a budget plan for a border wall is not approved, sources revealed Wednesday. RELATED [read more ... ]

Spanberger Dons Hazmat Suit to Remove Toxic Masculinity From Brat’s Office

WASHINGTON — A routine inspection of Dave Brat’s former office by the Occupational Safety and Health Administration showed critically unsafe levels of toxic masculinity. Upon its discovery last week, workers immediately sealed his office and [read more ... ]

Trump Points to Coal in Stocking as Proof of Virginia Coal Industry Booming

WASHINGTON — Stock prices are expected to soar when trading resumes after President Trump pointed to the vast amounts of coal in his stocking on Christmas morning as definitive proof that Virginia’s coal industry is booming. The President awoke [read more ... ]

Jeff Sessions Seen Auditioning for Tysons Corner Christmas Elf

TYSONS, Va. — After being forced to resign by President Trump, former Attorney General Jeff Sessions was spotted this week by early Christmas shoppers at Tysons Corner Center trying out to be one of Santa’s helper elves, sources confirmed [read more ... ]

Joe Morrissey Spotted in Voting Line With Brown Paper Bag Over His Head

HENRICO, Va. — Two years after his unsuccessful campaign as an independent candidate in Richmond’s 2016 mayoral election, lawyer Joe Morrissey was seen standing in line at his voting precinct wearing a brown paper bag over his head, witnesses [read more ... ]

“Surely there’s no way I can screw this up,” Kaine Says for the Second Time in Two Years

RICHMOND, Va. — With Senatorial candidate Tim Kaine leading in key counties throughout the Commonwealth against his opponent Corey Stewart, Kaine is understandably confident that there is no possible way he can mess up the upcoming election. [read more ... ]

Siegel Center Sues White House Over Name “House of Havoc”

WASHINGTON – Virginia Commonwealth University (VCU) has filed a lawsuit against the Trump administration over use of the branded phrase “House of Havoc” in reference to the White House. VCU created the term “House of Havoc” when Shaka [read more ... ]