donald trump

House Speaker Kirk Cox Frantically Admits Regretful Decision to Wear Ron Paul ‘88 Shirt During His 30s

RICHMOND, Va. — Saying that his decision to wear the outfit was very regrettable and seemed harmless at the time, House Speaker Kirk Cox has admitted to wearing a shirt supporting Ron Paul during the 1988 presidential election, officials confirmed [read more ... ]

State Capitol Janitor Frank Surprised to Find He’s Virginia’s New Governor

RICHMOND, Va. — Explaining that he had no idea he was even in the line of succession to become the leader of the Commonwealth, Frank Donahue, the State Capitol’s head janitor, arrived at work to discover that he was now Virginia’s governor, [read more ... ]

Abortion Controversy Only Second Worse Thing to Happen to White Male Governor This Week

RICHMOND, Va. — Doubling down on contentious topics within days of each other, Gov. Ralph Northam is in deep water for allegations of racist costumes from a college yearbook photos after making controversial claims on late-term abortions. RELATED [read more ... ]

Ralph Northam Defending Himself, Uses Justin Fairfax to Prove He Has Black Friends

RICHMOND, Va — After an image from his college yearbook page depicting a man dressed in KKK attire and a man in blackface came to light on Friday, Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam would like to remind Virginians that he is friends with Lt. Gov. Justin [read more ... ]

McAuliffe Finally Returns Home From NYE Party at Executive Mansion

RICHMOND, Va. — Having had enough of keg stands and dancing, Terry McAuliffe finally decided to head home yesterday after enjoying New Years Eve festivities at the Executive Mansion. RELATED (article continued below): Terry McAuliffe Drunkenly [read more ... ]

White Woman’s Brunch Plans Threaten Possibility of Attending Women’s March

ALEXANDRIA, Va. –– Completely torn between her feminist leanings and her love for brioche French toast, local white woman Ashley Evans fears that her upcoming brunch plans will interfere with her intention of attending the Women’s March on [read more ... ]

Guy Who Does Nothing for the Cause Marks Interested on Women’s March Facebook Event for Feminist Brownie Points

FAIRFAX, Va. — Despite contributing nothing toward the cause as a whole, Fairfax resident Brian Bellfield has shared on Facebook that he is interested in attending this year’s Women’s March. RELATED (article continued below): Trump Team [read more ... ]

Chesterfield Libertarian Maintaining Erection Throughout Government Shutdown

CHESTERFIELD, Va. — A prominent Libertarian and retired employee of the Pawnee, Indiana government has reported the current federal government shutdown has left him with a constant erection, sources confirmed Thursday. RELATED (article continued [read more ... ]

Richmond Government Threatens Shutdown Unless NOVA Pays for Wall at Fredericksburg Border

RICHMOND, Va. — Due to worsening bipartisan conflicts regarding a secure border with Northern Virginia, Richmond could be facing a possible government shutdown if a budget plan for a border wall is not approved, sources revealed Wednesday. RELATED [read more ... ]