donald trump

“So, What’s Your Story?” Asks Sulking Donald Trump To Guy Next To Him at 3rd Street Diner

RELATED: Trump Team Accidentally Starts Border Wall At South Of The Border ResortAmanda Chase Casts Vote by Shooting Trump’s Name on Ballot With AR-15Trump Drafts Chincoteague Ponies to Form First Space CavalryCDC Confirms 3rd Street Diner [read more ... ]

Biden’s Inauguration To Be Broadcast on Turner Classic Movies

WASHINGTON — Citing various demographic similarities, President-elect Joe Biden’s inauguration will be broadcast exclusively on Turner Classic Movies (TCM), sources confirmed Wednesday. RELATED (article continued below): Amanda Chase Casts Vote [read more ... ]

Biden Sworn in on Complete MAS*H DVD Box Set

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Joseph R. Biden, Jr., who earlier today was sworn in as the 46th President of the United States, shocked Americans by forgoing a Bible and instead affirming his oath of office on a DVD box set of the hit television [read more ... ]

NRA Forced to 3-D Print Cash

FAIRFAX, Va. — In a desperate move to regain financial stability, NRA spokesperson Dana Loesch announced Monday that the NRA would begin 3-D printing its own money. In a January 15th bankruptcy court filing, the organization stated that it was [read more ... ]

Amanda Chase Platform Reduced To Tailgating in Cracker Barrel Parking Lot

CHESTERFIELD, Va. — Following a 60 day suspension from her official Facebook page for her participation in Wednesday’s riot at the Capitol Building in Washington D.C., Sen. Amanda Chase (R-11th) has shifted her outreach platform to tailgating in [read more ... ]

Capitol Police Hope They Weren’t Too Rude To Visiting Protest-Enthusiasts

WASHINGTON — Following a riot that resulted in pro-Trump insurrectionists storming and occupying Capitol Hill, the Capitol Police Department is hopeful that their response to the situation wasn’t too rude or intimidating, sources confirmed [read more ... ]

Leader of Free World Currently in Time Out

RELATED: Amanda Chase Casts Vote by Shooting Trump’s Name on Ballot With AR-15Trump Team Accidentally Starts Border Wall At South Of The Border ResortTrump Deports White House Christmas Tree for Being From CanadaBiden Opens [read more ... ]

Mob of Protesters Demand To Speak To Nation’s Manager

RELATED (article continued below): Amanda Chase Casts Vote by Shooting Trump’s Name on Ballot With AR-15Trump Team Accidentally Starts Border Wall At South Of The Border ResortTrump Deports White House Christmas Tree for Being From CanadaBiden [read more ... ]

Trump Points to Coal in Stocking as Proof of Virginia Coal Industry Booming

WASHINGTON — Stock prices are expected to soar when trading resumes after President Trump pointed to the vast amounts of coal in his stocking on Christmas morning as definitive proof that Virginia’s coal industry is booming. The President awoke [read more ... ]