Driving

New Research Reveals That Absolutely Nobody in Virginia Should Drive in Snow

FAIRFAX, Va. — A new study conducted by researchers at George Mason University has unveiled that Virginia citizens should never be allowed to drive in the snow, regardless of circumstance. RELATED (article continued below): WxRisk Says Don’t [read more ... ]

VDOT Study Finds Squirrel Level Road Lacking Requisite Number of Squirrels

PETERSBURG, Va. — A recent VDOT study has uncovered that Squirrel Level Road in Petersburg lacks the requisite number of squirrels mandated by state policy to maintain its name. The Dinwiddie County byway, famous for alerting drivers that their [read more ... ]

Powhite Toll Booth Plans to Retire Early After Receiving Years of Extra Change

RICHMOND, Va. — A Powhite toll booth recently announced its plan to go into early retirement after gaining copious amounts of excess change throughout its career. “I’ve worked hard for 30 years receiving coins, flashing my lights red and [read more ... ]

Driver of Stolen APC Ticketed for Driving in New Bus Lanes

RICHMOND, Va. — In the aftermath of the pursuit of a stolen tank-like armored personnel carrier (APC) from Ft. Pickett to downtown Richmond, the Richmond Police Department has confirmed that the suspect will be cited for driving the vehicle in the [read more ... ]

Milk, Bread, and Driving Skills: A Peedmont Guide to Snow-vival

With a major wintry weather system looming upon us, The Peedmont has put together a guide to help Virginians endure what are sure to be brutal conditions. Follow these recommendations and we are somewhat sure that you will survive the cold winter [read more ... ]

Cyclist On Monument Ave Unaware That He Is Currently Most Hated Person In Town

RICHMOND, Va. – Despite the sounds of horns blaring and the relentless profanities from traffic behind him, reports are coming in that cyclist Shaun Templeton, who’s mild speed has caused a traffic backup spanning three blocks, is completely [read more ... ]

Fairfax Resident Discovers Left Turn Signal On Vehicle

FAIRFAX, Va. – It was a mixture of exploration and revelation yesterday when Northern Virginia resident Noah Richards discovered the left turn signal feature on his vehicle while driving to work. Richards recounted his experience in a [read more ... ]

New Study Finds Charlottesville Drivers Need To Hurry The Fuck Up

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. – Researchers at the University of Virginia have announced the results of a recent study on transportation in the Shenandoah region, concluding that drivers in and around Charlottesville “need to seriously hurry the fuck up [read more ... ]

New Study Finds You Will Hit Every Stoplight Red When Late For Work

FAIRFAX, Va. – A new study surfaced last week that has confirmed what many scientists and researchers have hypothesized for far too long: “There is indeed a correlation between running late for work in the morning and hitting every goddamn [read more ... ]