Hanover County

Hanover County Public Schools Vote To Abolish June 19th From Calendar

HANOVER, Va. — Citing the U.S. Senate’s decision to recognize Juneteenth as a national holiday as a travesty that affects the commonwealth’s rich history, Hanover County Public Schools has voted to officially abolish June 19th from the [read more ... ]

Terry McAuliffe Drunkenly Caroling Gets Through Three Bars of “Jingle Bells” Before Passing out on Porch

CHESTERFIELD, Va. — In an effort to get his former constituents in the holiday spirit, a heavily intoxicated former Gov. Terry McAuliffe only made it through the first few verses of “Jingle Bells” before passing out while going door-to-door [read more ... ]

Stoney: Stop Asking Me to Name a School After Jason Mraz

RICHMOND, Va. — Mayor Levar Stoney issued a statement earlier today saying he will no longer entertain the idea of naming a school after famous Richmonder Jason Mraz. RELATED (article continued below): Castleburg Brewery and Taproom offers [read more ... ]

Nikki-Dee Ray Leading in Key “Your Dad” Demographic, Much to Mom’s Chagrin

RICHMOND, Va. — Audience measurement systems have noticed an interesting trend among those who view Richmond’s televised local news. “We’ve noticed that married men with children, roughly aged between 40 and 70, what we call the ‘your [read more ... ]

Spotsylvania Voted “Best Place to Drive Past” Fifth Year in a Row

FREDERICKSBURG, Va. — For the fifth consecutive year, Spotsylvania County claimed victory today in the Virginia Tourism Board’s (VTB) annual “Best Place to Drive Past” contest. The winner was revealed by Amanda Conrad, a representative from [read more ... ]

Corey Stewart Voter Writes In Andrew Jackson for Other Positions

CHESTERFIELD, Va. — Election Day has arrived in the Commonwealth, and Chesterfield resident Erica Randall is eager to show her support for Republican Senatorial candidate Corey Stewart. However, like many voters, Randall forgot that there were [read more ... ]

“Did You Know There’s a Town in Virginia Called Bumpass?” Says Guy Who Just Fucking Got Here

HENRICO, Va. — Aggravatingly overjoyed at the fact that a town with such a crude sounding name exists in Virginia, Christopher Doyle, a new resident to Henrico, has just discovered the small Louisa community of Bumpass and won’t shut up about [read more ... ]

Ashland Resident Suggests Getting Computer Repaired at Circuit City

ASHLAND, Va. — In the aftermath of a software malfunction on her personal computer, Ashland resident Ethel Newton announced plans today to take the failing device to a nearby Circuit City for repairs. Newton, 71, explained that her home computer, [read more ... ]

Sugar Shack Unveils “Budweiser and Dip” Donut for New Hanover County Location

HANOVER, Va. — Continuing the trend of innovative recipes for their popular donuts, Sugar Shack announced today the introduction of their newest menu item: a handcrafted donut infused with Budweiser beer and chewing tobacco (commonly referred to [read more ... ]