Hardywood

“You Can’t Catch Me!” Yells Drunk, Naked Man After Taking Last Case of Hardywood Gingerbread Stout at Whole Foods

RICHMOND, Va. — Shoppers at the Short Pump Whole Foods Market were reportedly robbed of good cheer on Thursday after an inebriated man in his birthday suit absconded with the store’s last case of Hardywood Gingerbread Stout. RELATED (article [read more ... ]

Hardywood Singel Lands Coveted Spot on West End Applebee’s Draft List

RICHMOND, Va. — Desperate to ingratiate itself with the Richmond beer culture, the West Broad Street Applebee’s has given Hardywood Singel a coveted position on its draft list. The local craft beer mainstay beat out several Sam Adams seasonal [read more ... ]

Cartographers Working to Determine if Center of the Universe Brewing Co. Is Actually the Center of the Universe

ASHLAND, Va. — A team of cartographers has set out to determine whether or not the local craft brewery Center of the Universe is in fact at the center of our universe. “The exact center of the universe is where the sun lines up directly with the [read more ... ]

Blind Taste Test of Richmond Breweries Reveals That PBR Is Still Local Favorite

RICHMOND, Va. — Turmoil struck the local craft beer community on Saturday when the Virginia Craft Brewers Guild hosted a blind taste test of multiple local beers, only to discover that Pabst Blue Ribbon was still the local favorite. RELATED [read more ... ]

Report: Diversity Thrift Inventory 90 Percent “This End Up” Furniture

RICHMOND, Va — A recent study found that 90 percent of the donated items available at Diversity Thrift are from This End Up Furniture Company. RELATED (article continued below): Poll Results Say Ukrop’s, Not Publix, Should Go in Former Carytown [read more ... ]

Breweries Adding Etch A Sketches and Hot Wheels to Compete With Barcades

RICHMOND, Va. — In an effort to compete with barcades, several breweries in the Richmond area have added Etch A Sketches, Hot Wheels, and some of the other games you played with when grounded from video games, sources confirmed Wednesday. RELATED [read more ... ]

Local Businessman Attends Punk Show at Strange Matter in Collared Shirt, Desperate to Prove He Hasn’t “Sold Out”

RICHMOND, Va. — In an attempt to prove his dedication to the scene, local investment banker, Matthew Wilhelm, 37, was seen awkwardly lingering near the bar at Strange Matter as he attended the concert of his third favorite local folk-punk band [read more ... ]

Garden Grove Bartender Correctly Assumes Man with Neckbeard Going to Order Sadness Stout on Valentine’s Day

RICHMOND, Va. — Thanks to his ability to read context clues, a bartender at Garden Grove correctly deduced that a customer was planning to order the brewery’s Valentine’s Day themed beer, Sadness Stout, before he even got his order in. “When [read more ... ]

Hardywood Fan Debates Between Trying New Stout or Making Rent

RICHMOND, Va. — Following the release of a much anticipated stout from Hardywood Park Craft Brewery, Church Hill resident Scott Kincer is faced with the choice of either buying a six-pack or making his monthly rent payment, sources confirmed [read more ... ]