Hurricane Florence

Virginia Beach Residents Hope That Hurricane Dorian Cleans up Boardwalk

VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. — Explaining that the 2019 summer season has been particularly rough in terms of beachgoers’ litter, Virginia Beach residents have their fingers crossed that Hurricane Dorian will help clean up the boardwalk, officials [read more ... ]

Bottled Water and Toilet Paper Party Is Church Hill Man’s Desperate Attempt to Get Some Use out of Hurricane Supplies

RICHMOND, Va. — In an effort to make quick use of some of non-perishable items purchased in advance of Hurricane Florence, Church Hill resident Nicholas Tillman held a Bottled Water and Toilet Paper Party over the weekend, sources confirmed [read more ... ]

State of Emergency Declared; Mechanicsville Resident Believes Name of State Has Been Changed to Emergency

MECHANICSVILLE, Va. — Following Gov. Ralph Northam’s decision to declare a state of emergency in advance of Hurricane Florence’s arrival, Mechanicsville resident Harry Richards now believes he lives in a new state called “Emergency,” [read more ... ]

Stormy Daniels Loses Papermoon Gig to Some Chick Named Florence

RICHMOND, Va. — Adult film actress Stormy Daniels was notified through her lawyer Michael Avenatti on Thursday that her much-anticipated performance at Richmond’s premier gentleman’s club, Papermoon, would be bumped for some no-name hussy [read more ... ]

Milk and Bread Jokes Declared First Casualty of Hurricane Florence

NORFOLK, Va. — Tragedy struck the Hampton Roads area as Hurricane Florence claimed her first victim when the all-around unfunny joke about the need for milk and bread during severe weather was found dead Wednesday morning. RELATED (article [read more ... ]