High School Troubled When ‘Girl’s Career Fair’ Just Joe Morrissey Handing Out Business Cards
joe morrissey
Classified Documents Found in Joe Morrisey Residence Showing He Has Seven More Kids Than He Thought
RICHMOND, Va. — In a complete surprise to absolutely nobody, a search of Sen. Joe Morrissey’s (D-16) home found documents revealing his fathership to seven more kids than he knew about, sources confirmed Wednesday. “The search of Mr. [read more ... ]
Joe Morrissey Vows To Lower Voting Age From 18 to 17 if Elected
RICHMOND, Va. — In an effort to sway youth voters, Sen. Joe Morrissey (D-16th) announced his proposal to lower the voting age from 18 to 17 if elected to the late Rep. Donald McEachin’s congressional seat. The proposal, which political analysts [read more ... ]
“Who’s Running in This Bitch Again?” Asks Shitfaced Terry McAuliffe in Voting Line on Election Day
RICHMOND, Va. — Reeking of various craft beers, a heavily intoxicated former Gov. Terry McAuliffe loudly yelled for someone to tell him who was running in the election, sources confirmed Tuesday. RELATED (article continued below): Terry McAuliffe [read more ... ]
“Ready to Vote Today, Cowboy?” Reads Monday Morning Text Sent From Drunk Terry McAuliffe to Glenn Youngkin
RICHMOND, Va. — As both an act of challenge and a friendly reminder, Democratic gubernatorial Terry McAuliffe texted his Republican opponent Glenn Youngkin while heavily intoxicated asking if he was ready to vote today, sources confirmed Tuesday. [read more ... ]
Joe Morrissey Pushes For Vaccinations for 16-Year-Old Girls
RICHMOND, Va. — Citing the importance of Virginia’s adolescents to get vaccinated as soon as possible, Sen. Joe Morrissey, D-16th, has called for COVID-19 vaccination efforts to focus on 16-year-old girls, sources confirmed Wednesday. RELATED [read more ... ]
Virginia General Assembly Relocated 500 Feet Away From School Tours to Accommodate Joe Morrissey
RICHMOND, Va. — Members of the Virginia General Assembly were forced to relocate on the first day of the 2020 legislative session because the presence of Sen. Joe Morrisey conflicted with a pre-planned tour of high school students, sources [read more ... ]
Trump Points to Coal in Stocking as Proof of Virginia Coal Industry Booming
WASHINGTON — Stock prices are expected to soar when trading resumes after President Trump pointed to the vast amounts of coal in his stocking on Christmas morning as definitive proof that Virginia’s coal industry is booming. The President awoke [read more ... ]
McAullife: “This is the worst hangover I’ve had since my 2014 inauguration”
RICHMOND, Va. — Following former Vice President Joe Biden’s triumphant victory in the 2020 Presidential Election, former Gov. Terry McAullife announced this morning that he is suffering from his worst hangover in years. “Man, we cracked [read more ... ]
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