monument avenue

Jefferson Davis Monument 7.5 Percent African American, DNA Test Reveals

RICHMOND, Va. — Popular genealogy testing service 23andme shocked the Richmond community yesterday with its announcement that the city’s famed Jefferson Davis monument is 7.5 percent African American. 23andme initially planned the test as a [read more ... ]

Doctor Confirms Participant in Richmond Marathon Still Going to Die One Day

RICHMOND, Va. — Explaining that his healthy nature and superior endurance ultimately mean nothing, local doctors announced today that Anthem Richmond Marathon participant Christopher Locklear will still eventually die. Dr. Sharon Dorner, a [read more ... ]

Monument Avenue Millionaire Hands out Full-Sized Candy Bars Like Some Kind of Big Shot

RICHMOND, Va. — On All Hallows’ Eve, eleventh-generation Richmonder Edward Bellingham didn’t skimp on the sweet treats and reportedly handed out nothing but the good stuff all night long. A wealthy resident of Monument Avenue, Bellingham [read more ... ]

Robert E. Lee Tentacle Erotica Leaves Both Sides Confused, Aroused

RICHMOND, Va. — A new mural from an anonymous artist has sparked an uproar across Richmond’s political and social spectrums due to its bizarre and sexual depiction of one of the South’s most controversial historical figures. At the corner of [read more ... ]

Mayor Levar Stoney Proposes Moving Monument Avenue, Leave Monuments Behind

RICHMOND, Va. — In a bizarre twist on the Monument Avenue controversy, Richmond mayor Levar Stoney recently proposed an option that would leave the statues untouched and instead relocate Monument Avenue. While Monument Avenue has been a symbol of [read more ... ]

Local Monument Vandal Currently Taking Requests

RICHMOND, Va. — In an effort to bring diversity and creativity to the traditional practice of defacing Confederate monuments, Carytown resident Jimmy Lakash announced today that he is currently taking requests for upcoming acts of vandalism. [read more ... ]

Commuters Rejoice as Mayor Stoney Declares One Day Confinement of Monument Avenue Joggers

RICHMOND, Va. — In a remarkable overreach of mayoral power, Richmond Mayor Levar Stoney announced that Wednesday, September 19th will be the inaugural Monument Avenue Jogger Confinement Day. Claiming that the city’s commuters are in need of a [read more ... ]

Life-Size Monument of the Richmond Coliseum Proposed on Site of Current Coliseum

RICHMOND, Va. — After constant speculation regarding the future of the Richmond Coliseum, city officials announced Wednesday plans to replace the Coliseum with a life-size monument of the Richmond Coliseum. “Since Richmond is a city filled with [read more ... ]

Situation Intensifies at Church Hill Four-Way Stop as Four Drivers’ Refusal to Go First Enters Fourteenth Hour

RICHMOND, Va. — Reporters are on the scene of an incident in Church Hill as four cars remain at a complete standstill at a four-way stop. The drivers, stopped at the intersection of 27th and Leigh Streets, tell press that they can’t figure out [read more ... ]