Museum District

New Poll Finds 67% Of Richmond Unsure How To Pronounce Burger Bach

RICHMOND, Va. — The results of a recent Gallup poll were announced today, revealing 67% of the Richmond metropolitan population are still not sure how to pronounce the name of local hamburger-based restaurant Burger Bach. RELATED (article [read more ... ]

Jefferson Davis Monument 7.5 Percent African American, DNA Test Reveals

RICHMOND, Va. — Popular genealogy testing service 23andme shocked the Richmond community yesterday with its announcement that the city’s famed Jefferson Davis monument is 7.5 percent African American. 23andme initially planned the test as a [read more ... ]

Local Man Suggests Circuit for First, Second, and Third Date

RICHMOND, Va. –– Claiming that they have the best selection of retro gaming machines in Richmond, Fan resident Derrick Walker took Tinder date Ashley Price to local barcade The Circuit for their first three dates, sources confirmed Tuesday. [read more ... ]

BREAKING: Joe’s Inn Patron Makes Dent in Lasagna Dish

RICHMOND, Va. — At approximately 9:15 p.m., breaking news reports revealed that Joe’s Inn patron Mike Staples had succeeded in making a moderate dent in his lasagna entrée. Around 6:30 p.m., Staples and his roommates walked to Joe’s Inn from [read more ... ]

VCU Student Quits Drama-Filled Restaurant For Another Drama-Filled Restaurant

RICHMOND, Va. — Having had enough of that bitch Taylor’s bullshit, VCU student McKenzie Ellis abruptly quit her stressful job as a server at Metro Bar & Grill last week for an equally stressful opportunity at Kabana Rooftop, sources [read more ... ]

Doctor Confirms Participant in Richmond Marathon Still Going to Die One Day

RICHMOND, Va. — Explaining that his healthy nature and superior endurance ultimately mean nothing, local doctors announced today that Anthem Richmond Marathon participant Christopher Locklear will still eventually die. Dr. Sharon Dorner, a [read more ... ]

Fan Resident OK With Going Wherever for Dinner Tonight

RICHMOND, Va. — In a classic case of dining indifference, a local Fan resident is OK with going wherever for dinner tonight, sources confirmed Saturday. RELATED (article continued below): Jeans Still Damp After Seventh Cycle in Fan [read more ... ]

Monument Avenue Millionaire Hands out Full-Sized Candy Bars Like Some Kind of Big Shot

RICHMOND, Va. — On All Hallows’ Eve, eleventh-generation Richmonder Edward Bellingham didn’t skimp on the sweet treats and reportedly handed out nothing but the good stuff all night long. A wealthy resident of Monument Avenue, Bellingham [read more ... ]

Fan Haunted House Revealed to Be Goth Roommate’s Shitty Bedroom

RICHMOND, Va. — After an extensive study spanning one long weekend, VCU anthropology major Jessica Martin has revealed that a popular haunted house in the Fan, frequented by many black-clad men of ill repute, was in fact just her gothic [read more ... ]