Museum District

COVID-19 Outbreak Traced Back To Shitty Pick-up Line at District 5

RICHMOND, Va. — Tighter pandemic restrictions have been put in place throughout the commonwealth in response to a COVID-19 outbreak that has been traced to one particularly gross pick-up line at District 5, health officials confirmed Tuesday. [read more ... ]

Church Hill Fiancée Culls Friends Who Defected to Midlothian From Wedding Invite List

CHURCH HILL, Va. — Bride-to-be and proud Church Hill resident Sarah Mahoney has begun uninviting friends to her wedding after learning of their decision to move to Midlothian, The Peedmont learned Monday. Both Mahoney and her fiancée Raymond [read more ... ]

Richmond Man Makes Fortune After Discovering Untapped Beard Oil Deposit

RICHMOND, Va. — A local man got the surprise of his life Thursday evening after discovering one of Richmond’s few remaining untapped beard oil deposits under the floor of his Fan apartment. RELATED (article continued below): Mechanicsville Votes [read more ... ]

Windsor Farms Woman Calls Police on Black Man Riding Horse at Museum

RICHMOND, Va. — Less than a week after making its Richmond debut, “Rumors of War” is already causing quite a commotion. Windsor Farms resident Karen Roberts contacted the Richmond Police Department last night to report a suspicious man [read more ... ]

Chief Martin Brody Declares Pony Pasture Closed Amid Shark Threat

RICHMOND, Va. — Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, Chief Martin Brody, formerly of the Amity Island Police Department and currently serving as the James River Park System Superintendent, has declared that Pony Pasture [read more ... ]

Fan Resident Willing to Pay $1 Million to Be Within Walking Distance of Bandito’s

RICHMOND, Va. — When Brik Layton set out to find a roommate for his quaint but trendy two-bedroom apartment along Kensington Avenue in Richmond’s bustling Museum District, he thought his lofty price tag of $1 million a month might be aiming too [read more ... ]

Op-ed: I’m a Monument Avenue Purebred and You Play Cornhole Where I Shit

Hey you. Yeah, you. Just who do you think you are? I may just look like an innocent purebred with perfect lineage I can trace back 14 generations, but I’ve got something to say to you. Every year, as spring slowly transitions into summer, you [read more ... ]

Group of Curious VCU Students Enter One Eyed Jacques, Exit as Newly Formed Dwarf Guild

RICHMOND, Va. — During a walk through Carytown, a group of five freshman hallmates from VCU entered the local hobby store One Eyed Jacques, only to exit as a Dwarf Guild, with a new bond as strong as steel forged in the hottest furnaces of Erebor. [read more ... ]

Stay-At-Home Policy Forces Roommates to Publicly Address Living Room Masturbation Issue

RICHMOND, Va. — Gov. Ralph Northam’s stay-at-home order has caused Fan roommates Brian Kilsey, Matthew Nguyen, and Chris Nichols to finally address their ongoing living room masturbation issue, sources confirmed Tuesday. RELATED (article [read more ... ]