Redskins

Commanders Training Camp Converted into Haunted House

RICHMOND, Va. — In the midst of a season of soul-crushing losing, the Washington Commanders have announced that, in order to try and bolster some midseason interest in the 1-6 disaster that vaguely resembles a football team, they will convert the [read more ... ]

Alex Smith Hopes They Just Kill Him Next Time

LANDOVER, Md. — In a somber press conference delivered after Tuesday’s team practice, Washington Redskins quarterback, Alex Smith told members of the press that while he’s uncertain of his playing future at this stage in his recovery from last [read more ... ]

Stoney Changes Locks on Redskins Training Camp Facility Following Team Departure

RICHMOND, Va. — Upon receiving a parting honk and wave from the final moving van as it turned down W. Leigh Street toward I-95, Richmond Mayor Levar Stoney immediately began changing the locks on all doors and points of entry to the Bon Secours [read more ... ]

Multi-Million Dollar Facility That Sits Vacant 347 Days of the Year Becomes Occupied During Redskins Training Camp

RICHMOND, Va. ⎯ After being completely unused for 95% of the calendar year, there is a shocking development at the Bon Secours Washington Redskins Training Facility. It’s occupied. “I was walking my dog down the street,” says a local citizen [read more ... ]

Richmond “It” Luring Redskins Fans into Sewers with Promises of Winning Season

RICHMOND, Va. — Coinciding with the start of the football season, Richmond has seen a spike in disappearances and deaths among the Washington Redskins fan community. Evidence shows that an ancient, evil entity referred to as “It” has been [read more ... ]

Red Cross To Set Up Crisis Centers For Devastated Redskins Fans

WASHINGTON, DC – Following yet another disappointing play-off elimination for the Washington Redskins, the Red Cross announced yesterday that it would be setting up crisis centers for devastated fans who have been struggling to cope with the [read more ... ]