Richmond

James River Decides to Flow West for the Weekend

RICHMOND, Va. — The James River Association announced today that the James River, locally known as Big Jimmy, will take a three-day weekend this spring and alter its course to flow west. RELATED (article continued below): Support local journalism [read more ... ]

Virginia’s Major Interstates, Ranked by Sexiness

While Virginia is known for a variety of fascinating topics, one particular aspect stands out like a glowing beacon of irresistible lust: infrastructure. So we did the research on Virginia’s major interstates, and have finally reached a [read more ... ]

Inspiring! This Richmonder Trashes Belle Isle With Only Recyclable Material

RICHMOND, Va. — Stephanie Lee, a recent VCU graduate, told reporters that she refuses to trash Belle Isle with anything other than recyclable material. RELATED (article continued below): Ballenger Motorsports has been providing PPE gear (at [read more ... ]

Stoney: Stop Asking Me to Name a School After Jason Mraz

RICHMOND, Va. — Mayor Levar Stoney issued a statement earlier today saying he will no longer entertain the idea of naming a school after famous Richmonder Jason Mraz. RELATED (article continued below): Castleburg Brewery and Taproom offers [read more ... ]

Chief Martin Brody Declares Pony Pasture Closed Amid Shark Threat

RICHMOND, Va. — Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, Chief Martin Brody, formerly of the Amity Island Police Department and currently serving as the James River Park System Superintendent, has declared that Pony Pasture [read more ... ]

RPD Chief William Smith Resigns, is Immediately Tear-Gassed

RICHMOND, Va. — Following several days of standoffs between the Richmond Police Department (RPD) and protesters, RPD Chief William Smith tendered his resignation at the request of Mayor Levar Stoney, at which point he was reflexively tear-gassed [read more ... ]

Lee Forced Into Second Surrender

RICHMOND, Va. — General Robert E. Lee of the Confederate States of America surrendered for a second time on Thursday, as Gov. Ralph Northam announced that his monument would be removed from Monument Avenue in Richmond. RELATED (article continued [read more ... ]

Low Temperatures Temporarily Reduce Stench Of Shockoe Bottom

RICHMOND, Va. – Following a period of unexpectedly cold temperatures, residents of Richmond’s Shockoe Bottom district are celebrating a noticeable reduction in the “Shockoe stank” that normally permeates the neighborhood. “I’m so [read more ... ]

“Did you know that the moonshine in ABC stores is fake?” Says Guy Who Just Fucking Got Here

RICHMOND, Va. — During a recent work happy hour, North Carolina native Steven McComas, who just fucking got here, informed his co-workers that the moonshine sold in ABC stores is actually fake. McComas, who relocated from Raleigh for a job at [read more ... ]