RVA

Situation Intensifies at Church Hill Four-Way Stop as Four Drivers’ Refusal to Go First Enters Fourteenth Hour

RICHMOND, Va. — Reporters are on the scene of an incident in Church Hill as four cars remain at a complete standstill at a four-way stop. The drivers, stopped at the intersection of 27th and Leigh Streets, tell press that they can’t figure out [read more ... ]

East End and West End Rap Beef Becoming Heated

RICHMOND, Va. — An upcoming rap battle in Richmond has captured the attention of the music world. This battle, between the East End and the West End, is the latest development in the long-lingering beef between the two groups. The feud between the [read more ... ]

Catholic Diocese of Richmond Names Father John Misty Bishop in Order to Attract Youth

RICHMOND, Va. — Bishop Barry Knestout announced today that he will be stepping down as Bishop of the Catholic Diocese of Richmond and will be replaced by Father John Misty. Father John Misty, also known as folk singer, Josh Tillman, is neither [read more ... ]

Church Hill Fiancée Culls Friends Who Defected to Midlothian From Wedding Invite List

CHURCH HILL, Va. — Bride-to-be and proud Church Hill resident Sarah Mahoney has begun uninviting friends to her wedding after learning of their decision to move to Midlothian, The Peedmont learned Monday. Both Mahoney and her fiancée Raymond [read more ... ]

White Middle-Class VCU Freshman Can’t Wait to Lecture You on Race Relations

RICHMOND, Va. — During his long and arduous career of intense activism in which he suffered the indignity of being one block away from a tear gas canister one night, Dana Johnson, a white, middle-class VCU freshman, has learned that the most [read more ... ]

Richmond Aims to be Horse Statue Capital of America

RICHMOND, Va. — With controversy still surrounding the removal of several statues from Monument Avenue, the Richmond Tourism Board (RTB) has announced a new proposal with aims to make Richmond the horse statue capital of America. In attempting to [read more ... ]

Ellwood Thompson’s Promises Fired Employees Were Recycled

RICHMOND, Va. — After days of silence, Ellwood Thompson’s addressed the controversy surrounding recently-fired employees, assuring customers that despite being terminated, their former workers were recycled. “Our commitment to this planet [read more ... ]

Chief Martin Brody Declares Pony Pasture Closed Amid Shark Threat

RICHMOND, Va. — Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, Chief Martin Brody, formerly of the Amity Island Police Department and currently serving as the James River Park System Superintendent, has declared that Pony Pasture [read more ... ]

“Did you know that the moonshine in ABC stores is fake?” Says Guy Who Just Fucking Got Here

RICHMOND, Va. — During a recent work happy hour, North Carolina native Steven McComas, who just fucking got here, informed his co-workers that the moonshine sold in ABC stores is actually fake. McComas, who relocated from Raleigh for a job at [read more ... ]