Santa

Dominion Announced as Primary Coal Ash Supplier for Santa

NORTH POLE — As Christmas quickly approaches, Santa Claus announced today at his headquarters that Dominion Energy would be providing coal ash for all the naughty kids of the world. RELATED (article continued below): Need to get something other [read more ... ]

Op-ed: When Santa Claus Does It, It’s Charming, But When I Do It, I Get Served With a Restraining Order

I’ve never really gotten why that guy gets a pass. He breaks into all our homes one night a year and nobody bats an eyelash. Father Christmas, Père Noël, Saint Nicholas, Kris Kringle, Santa Claus — sounds like a series of aliases for someone [read more ... ]

Santa Found To Be More Generous In Weed-Friendly States: “They’ve got the best cookies, man”

WASHINGTON, DC – Santa Claus has stunned the nation by giving extra gifts to the children of Washington, Colorado, California, Oregon, Massachusetts, Alaska, and Maine where marijuana is available for recreational use. While troubling, the [read more ... ]

Santa Stops At Hardywood; Outraged To Find They’ve Run Out Of Gingerbread Stout

NORTH POLE – What should’ve been a jolly Christmas Eve filled with joy and good tidings took a turn for the worst when Santa reportedly became enraged to discover that the popular Hardywood brewery had run out of its famous Gingerbread Stout. [read more ... ]

Richmond Fan Apartment Leaves PBR, Vegan Cookies For Santa

RICHMOND, Va. – While many families around the world began preparations for Santa’s arrival with a traditional plate of fresh cookies and a glass of milk, one local apartment residence is taking a different route by leaving Santa Pabst Blue [read more ... ]