Shenandoah National park

Bristol Man Arrested for Bootlegging After Walking Case of Beer Across the Street

BRISTOL, Va. — Bristol resident Paul Clark was arrested yesterday after attempting to cross State Street with a case of beer, officials confirmed this morning. Clark had just bought a six-pack of Miller Lite on the Tennessee side of Bristol and [read more ... ]

Report: Holy Shit It’s in the 60s

RICHMOND, Va. — Following a streak of unseasonably warm weather, citizens around Richmond and much of the commonwealth rejoiced today as it stayed in the fucking 60s outside, sources confirmed Tuesday. “Holy shit, this is awesome,” [read more ... ]

Dominion Defends Controversial Decision to Bulldoze Entire Appalachian Mountain Range

RICHMOND, Va. — Claiming the decision was made with the best intentions, Dominion Energy is standing by their controversial commitment to completely destroy the Appalachian Mountain range. According to Dominion spokesperson Richard Deanders, the [read more ... ]

Nobody Misses Guy Who Went Missing in Shenandoah National Park: “He Was Kind of a Dick”

SIMMONS GAP, Va. — Park rangers and rescue workers called off a search for Kent Bennet, a hiker who went missing in Shenandoah National Park yesterday, at the request of his friends, family, and coworkers, who unanimously claimed that Bennet was [read more ... ]

Shenandoah National Park Deer Just Not Feeling Photogenic Today

MCGAHEYSVILLE, Va. — Noting the creature seemed overly self-aware at the sight of a camera, multiple reports have confirmed that a deer in Shenandoah National Park isn’t feeling too photogenic today. RELATED (article continued below): [read more ... ]

Best Virginia Mountain Ranges for Building Your Unabomber Shack

Whether you’re looking for a place to wage a war of environmental terrorism or you just read Into the Wild and want to get away from society, Virginia offers a number of options for building a Unabomber-style shack in the middle of nowhere. Here [read more ... ]

Dillwyn Recognized With “Least Historic Place in Virginia” Award

DILLWYN, Va. — Describing the town’s past as completely void of any notable moments or people in the state’s history, the town of Dillwyn was officially recognized by state officials as the least historic place in Virginia this morning. [read more ... ]