Snow

Richmond’s Only Snowplow Guy Absolutely Thrilled for Coming Storm

RICHMOND, Va. — As the city prepares for inclement weather, Jerry Walters, the operator of Richmond’s one and only snowplow, announced today that he is more than ready for the imminent snowstorm. “There ain’t nothing this rig can’t [read more ... ]

“It’s Still Not as Bad as the Blizzard of ‘96” Henrico Man Says About Any Inclement Weather Event

HENRICO, Va. — Noting that the extensive snowfall that covered the entire commonwealth hasn’t been matched since, West End resident Ron Nabors, 61, has continued to compare every inclement weather event to the winter storm of 1996, sources [read more ... ]

Report: Guy in Honda Civic Pretty Sure He Can Make It up That Hill

CHESTERFIELD, Va. — Dismissing the dangerous road conditions as a mere inconvenience, Chesterfield resident Jason Akers is pretty sure his 2012 Honda Civic EX can make it up that hill, sources confirmed Monday. “Don’t worry about me, I’ve [read more ... ]

New Research Reveals That Absolutely Nobody in Virginia Should Drive in Snow

FAIRFAX, Va. — A new study conducted by researchers at George Mason University has unveiled that Virginia citizens should never be allowed to drive in the snow, regardless of circumstance. RELATED (article continued below): WxRisk Says Don’t [read more ... ]

Chesterfield County Teacher in Constant State of Arousal at the Thought of Impending Snow Day

CHESTERFIELD, Va. — Describing the feeling as a complete and irresistible tease, Winterpock Elementary School teacher Brian Grandoff has been in a state of arousal on the eve of a potential snow day, sources confirmed Tuesday. “The prospect of [read more ... ]

CBS 6 Weather Predictions Reduced to Shrugging and Saying “Sure, Why Not”

RICHMOND, Va. — Explaining that conventional methods of meteorological study were not enough to keep up with the ever-changing weather in Virginia, CBS 6 will reduce their weather forecast segments to a single meteorologist standing in front of a [read more ... ]

Milk, Bread, and Driving Skills: A Peedmont Guide to Snow-vival

With a major wintry weather system looming upon us, The Peedmont has put together a guide to help Virginians endure what are sure to be brutal conditions. Follow these recommendations and we are somewhat sure that you will survive the cold winter [read more ... ]

Satan Responsible For Recent Hot Weather; Blames It On Burst Pipe In Hell

HELL – After a stint of painfully hot weather throughout the summer season, Satan himself has claimed responsibility for the harsh climate, announcing that the cause is a recently burst pipe in Hell. In a recent interview, the Devil admitted the [read more ... ]

West End Snowman Disappointed That Kids Would Rather Stay Inside and Play With Electronic Devices

HENRICO, Va. — It’s been a snow day filled with discouragement for local snowman Nippy, who is frustrated and disenchanted that neighborhood kids have chosen to spend a snow day inside on their laptops, phones, and other electronic devices, [read more ... ]