Snowstorm

“It’s Still Not as Bad as the Blizzard of ‘96” Henrico Man Says About Any Inclement Weather Event

HENRICO, Va. — Noting that the extensive snowfall that covered the entire commonwealth hasn’t been matched since, West End resident Ron Nabors, 61, has continued to compare every inclement weather event to the winter storm of 1996, sources [read more ... ]

Report: Guy in Honda Civic Pretty Sure He Can Make It up That Hill

CHESTERFIELD, Va. — Dismissing the dangerous road conditions as a mere inconvenience, Chesterfield resident Jason Akers is pretty sure his 2012 Honda Civic EX can make it up that hill, sources confirmed Monday. “Don’t worry about me, I’ve [read more ... ]

New Research Reveals That Absolutely Nobody in Virginia Should Drive in Snow

FAIRFAX, Va. — A new study conducted by researchers at George Mason University has unveiled that Virginia citizens should never be allowed to drive in the snow, regardless of circumstance. RELATED (article continued below): WxRisk Says Don’t [read more ... ]

Chesterfield County Teacher in Constant State of Arousal at the Thought of Impending Snow Day

CHESTERFIELD, Va. — Describing the feeling as a complete and irresistible tease, Winterpock Elementary School teacher Brian Grandoff has been in a state of arousal on the eve of a potential snow day, sources confirmed Tuesday. “The prospect of [read more ... ]

Milk, Bread, and Driving Skills: A Peedmont Guide to Snow-vival

With a major wintry weather system looming upon us, The Peedmont has put together a guide to help Virginians endure what are sure to be brutal conditions. Follow these recommendations and we are somewhat sure that you will survive the cold winter [read more ... ]

Satan Responsible For Recent Hot Weather; Blames It On Burst Pipe In Hell

HELL – After a stint of painfully hot weather throughout the summer season, Satan himself has claimed responsibility for the harsh climate, announcing that the cause is a recently burst pipe in Hell. In a recent interview, the Devil admitted the [read more ... ]

Chesterfield Power Outage Hailed As “Landmark Victory” For Renewable Energy

MIDLOTHIAN, Va. – In a milestone achievement for renewable energy, Dominion Power announced that Chesterfield County ran entirely off renewable power this weekend during a major power outage caused by the snowstorm. Dominion unveiled the move [read more ... ]

REPORT: Everyone Has The Day Off Today Except You

VIRGINIA – In the wake of the winter storm that has affected nearly all of Virginia, reports are coming in that everyone in the state has the day off today except you. Due to icy roads, bridges, and sidewalks, every county has made the decision [read more ... ]

West End Snowman Disappointed That Kids Would Rather Stay Inside and Play With Electronic Devices

HENRICO, Va. — It’s been a snow day filled with discouragement for local snowman Nippy, who is frustrated and disenchanted that neighborhood kids have chosen to spend a snow day inside on their laptops, phones, and other electronic devices, [read more ... ]