State Capitol

Parallel Parking Nearly Thwarts Capitol Square Gun Rights Rally

RICHMOND, Va. — A massive demonstration by gun rights advocates at Capitol Square on Monday was nearly over before it began when thousands of participants found themselves incapable of parallel parking successfully. RELATED (article continued [read more ... ]

City Council Erects Fake State Capitol Ahead of Lobby Day

RICHMOND, Va. — In a move similar to the creation of Elko Tract during World War ll, Richmond City Council have completed construction on a mock state capitol ahead of the annual pro-Second Amendment rally on January 18, officials confirmed [read more ... ]

Armed Protestors at Reopen VA Rally Assure Public They Plan to Open Fire Only at COVID-19

RICHMOND, Va. — Explaining that the only enemy they’d willfully open fire upon was COVID-19 itself, the armed protestors at yesterday’s Reopen Virginia rally reaffirmed their peaceful stance towards the public, despite bringing a variety [read more ... ]

State Capitol Janitor Frank Surprised to Find He’s Virginia’s New Governor

RICHMOND, Va. — Explaining that he had no idea he was even in the line of succession to become the leader of the Commonwealth, Frank Donahue, the State Capitol’s head janitor, arrived at work to discover that he was now Virginia’s governor, [read more ... ]

Northam Reduces Capitol Security by Sitting in Rocking Chair on Porch With Shotgun Over Shoulder

RICHMOND, Va. — Citing the importance of keeping under the fiscal budget, Gov. Ralph Northam plans to reduce nightly security around the Capitol and instead protect the Executive Mansion himself by sitting on the front porch in his rocking chair [read more ... ]