News Peed

September 26, 2020 in Featured // Trump Team Accidentally Starts Border Wall At South Of The Border Resort
April 27, 2017 in Featured // Humanitarian Efforts Underway After Kings Dominion Volcano Erupts
January 7, 2017 in Richmond // Richmond Mayor Levar Stoney Faces Backlash After Failing to Prevent Snowstorm
October 22, 2020 in Statewide // Third Presidential Debate Sponsored by Depend
October 21, 2020 in Blue Ridge // Tourist in Shenandoah Determined to Feed Wildlife, Despite All of the Signs
October 20, 2020 in Statewide // Terry McAuliffe Furious Upon Learning Longtime “Hangover Nausea Cure” Is Being Discontinued
October 20, 2020 in Blue Ridge // Exhibitionist Leaf Very Excited for Upcoming Foliage Festival
October 19, 2020 in Richmond // Robert E. Lee Statue Scolded by Judge for Showing up To Court Wearing Graffiti
October 17, 2020 in Richmond // UVA Bro Tailgates Birth of Son in Hospital Parking Lot
October 16, 2020 in Blue Ridge // Park Rangers Issue Warnings After Hiker Encounters Pack Of Basic Bitches
October 15, 2020 in NoVA & DC // Op-Ed: I Used to Think Gentrification Was a Bad Thing, Then I Tried Korean BBQ Tacos With an IPA
October 14, 2020 in Richmond // Northam Kindly Asks Kidnappers to Wash Their Hands Before Dragging Him Out of the Executive Mansion
October 13, 2020 in NoVA & DC // Zillow Now Advertising Nuclear Blast Radius in Northern Virginia Listings

State Capitol

Armed Protestors at Reopen VA Rally Assure Public They Plan to Open Fire Only at COVID-19

RICHMOND, Va. — Explaining that the only enemy they’d willfully open fire upon was COVID-19 itself, the armed protestors at yesterday’s Reopen Virginia rally reaffirmed their peaceful stance towards the public, despite bringing a variety [read more ... ]

State Capitol Janitor Frank Surprised to Find He’s Virginia’s New Governor

RICHMOND, Va. — Explaining that he had no idea he was even in the line of succession to become the leader of the Commonwealth, Frank Donahue, the State Capitol’s head janitor, arrived at work to discover that he was now Virginia’s governor, [read more ... ]

Northam Reduces Capitol Security by Sitting in Rocking Chair on Porch With Shotgun Over Shoulder

RICHMOND, Va. — Citing the importance of keeping under the fiscal budget, Gov. Ralph Northam plans to reduce nightly security around the Capitol and instead protect the Executive Mansion himself by sitting on the front porch in his rocking chair [read more ... ]

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