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Report: Catastrophic Climate Change Definitely Worth Virginia’s 70 Degree Winter Weather

WAKEFIELD, Va. — A new report from the National Weather Service in Wakefield revealed that pleasantly warm temperatures throughout the winter months is totally worth the effects of catastrophic climate change, the organization announced Monday. [read more ... ]

CBS 6 Weather Predictions Reduced to Shrugging and Saying “Sure, Why Not”

RICHMOND, Va. — Explaining that conventional methods of meteorological study were not enough to keep up with the ever-changing weather in Virginia, CBS 6 will reduce their weather forecast segments to a single meteorologist standing in front of a [read more ... ]

State of Emergency Declared; Mechanicsville Resident Believes Name of State Has Been Changed to Emergency

MECHANICSVILLE, Va. — Following Gov. Ralph Northam’s decision to declare a state of emergency in advance of Hurricane Florence’s arrival, Mechanicsville resident Harry Richards now believes he lives in a new state called “Emergency,” [read more ... ]

Virginia Meteorologists: “We have no fucking clue what to expect this winter”

WAKEFIELD, Va. — After what felt like a never ending summer filled with relentless heat & humidity, the state’s leading meteorologists have issued a statement regarding the upcoming winter season, announcing that they haven’t the slightest [read more ... ]

Satan Responsible For Recent Hot Weather; Blames It On Burst Pipe In Hell

HELL – After a stint of painfully hot weather throughout the summer season, Satan himself has claimed responsibility for the harsh climate, announcing that the cause is a recently burst pipe in Hell. In a recent interview, the Devil admitted the [read more ... ]