Terry McAuliffe

Terry McAuliffe Challenges Entire CNN Newsroom to Game of Flip Cup After Chris Cuomo Interview

ATLANTA — Insisting that there would be enough time in the upcoming commercial break for a full game, former Virginia Gov. Terry McAuliffe challenged CNN’s newsroom to a game of flip cup following his appearance on Cuomo Prime Time, sources [read more ... ]

Levar Stoney Opens Lemonade Stand to Raise Money for Public Schools

RICHMOND, Va. — Stating that the idea worked when he was a kid trying to raise enough money for a Razor scooter, sources confirmed that Mayor Levar Stoney opened a lemonade stand on Saturday in an effort to help fund Richmond Public Schools. [read more ... ]

Terry McAuliffe Takes St. Patrick’s Day Off, Still Drunker Than Everyone at Siné

RICHMOND, Va. — Former governor, potential presidential candidate, and current Irish caricature, Terry McAuliffe, announced today that he would be abstaining from the usual St. Patrick’s Day celebrations. Despite this, early reports indicated [read more ... ]

Tim Kaine Rejected by Fifth Jam Band He Tries to Join

ARLINGTON, Va. — A devastated Sen. Tim Kaine has just been rejected as the harmonica player for local jam band Intergalactic HASHbrown Experience, sources confirmed Friday. RELATED (article continued below): Terry McAuliffe Drunkenly Screams for [read more ... ]

McAuliffe Plays Edward Fortyhands While Announcing Exploratory Committee to One-Up Elizabeth Warren

MCLEAN, Va. — Former Virginia Gov. Terry McAuliffe announced his intention to run for president today from the comfort of his home in McLean, reportedly while playing the popular binge drinking game Edward Fortyhands. RELATED (article continued [read more ... ]

Bob and Maureen McDonnell Fighting Over Who Will Get Ferrari

VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. — Moving forward with their upcoming divorce, former Gov. Bob McDonnell and his wife Maureen were spotted out together for the first time since going public with the news. Not surprisingly, they arguing over who would get the [read more ... ]

House Speaker Kirk Cox Frantically Admits Regretful Decision to Wear Ron Paul ‘88 Shirt During His 30s

RICHMOND, Va. — Saying that his decision to wear the outfit was very regrettable and seemed harmless at the time, House Speaker Kirk Cox has admitted to wearing a shirt supporting Ron Paul during the 1988 presidential election, officials confirmed [read more ... ]

State Capitol Janitor Frank Surprised to Find He’s Virginia’s New Governor

RICHMOND, Va. — Explaining that he had no idea he was even in the line of succession to become the leader of the Commonwealth, Frank Donahue, the State Capitol’s head janitor, arrived at work to discover that he was now Virginia’s governor, [read more ... ]

Gillespie Staffer Fired for Not Finding Northam Pictures During Election

RICHMOND, Va. — Entirely convinced that his campaign staff’s inability to find Northam’s yearbook photos showing him dressed in racist attire cost him the 2017 election, former gubernatorial candidate Ed Gillespie has fired former staffer [read more ... ]