Terry McAuliffe – The Peedmont

“Who’s Running in This Bitch Again?” Asks Shitfaced Terry McAuliffe in Voting Line on Election Day

RICHMOND, Va. — Reeking of various craft beers, a heavily intoxicated former Gov. Terry McAuliffe loudly yelled for someone to tell him who was running in the election, sources confirmed Tuesday. RELATED (article continued below): Terry McAuliffe [read more ... ]

Youngkin Counters Critical Race Theory By Advising All K-12 Schools Show Complete John Wayne Filmography

RICHMOND, Va. — As a means to circumvent efforts to promote critical race theory teachings in public schools, Governor-elect Glenn Youngkin has proposed all Virginia K-12 schools show John Wayne’s entire filmography in classroom settings, [read more ... ]

Youngkin Attributes Victory To Wearing Lucky Sweater Vest on Election Night

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“Finally, Someone Who Isn’t a Career Politician,” Says Man Who Voted for White Multi-millionaire in His 50s

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“Ready to Vote Today, Cowboy?” Reads Monday Morning Text Sent From Drunk Terry McAuliffe to Glenn Youngkin

RICHMOND, Va. — As both an act of challenge and a friendly reminder, Democratic gubernatorial Terry McAuliffe texted his Republican opponent Glenn Youngkin while heavily intoxicated asking if he was ready to vote today, sources confirmed Tuesday. [read more ... ]

Polling Shows Healthcare, Ending Goddamn Campaign Commercials Top Issues in Tuesday’s Election

RICHMOND, Va. — A new poll of voters across the commonwealth revealed that the top issues people are focusing on in Tuesday’s midterm elections are healthcare and putting an end to the goddamn campaign commercials. RELATED (article continued [read more ... ]

Report: Youngkin Promise To Eliminate the Grocery Tax Just a Ploy to Hoard All of State’s Rainbow Cookies for Himself

RICHMOND, Va. — The campaign for Republican gubernatorial candidate Glenn Youngkin is under fire following allegations regarding his proposal to eliminate the grocery tax, which, according to some sources, is merely a ploy to begin hoarding all of [read more ... ]