Tom Periello

Trump Points to Coal in Stocking as Proof of Virginia Coal Industry Booming

WASHINGTON — Stock prices are expected to soar when trading resumes after President Trump pointed to the vast amounts of coal in his stocking on Christmas morning as definitive proof that Virginia’s coal industry is booming. The President awoke [read more ... ]

Richmond City Council Passes Resolution to Argue More Next Week

RICHMOND, Va. — It was announced this morning that the Richmond City Council successfully passed a resolution granting an immediate continuance to argue more in the coming week. The resolution passed with a rare unanimous vote and came just as the [read more ... ]

Poll Finds Joe Morrissey Only Second Most Annoying Morrissey

RICHMOND, Va. — According to the annual Morrissey Annoyance Index released by the University of Richmond’s Department of Sociology & Anthropology, “Fightin’” Joe Morrissey remains only the second most annoying Morrissey on record, [read more ... ]

Levar Stoney Opens Lemonade Stand to Raise Money for Public Schools

RICHMOND, Va. — Stating that the idea worked when he was a kid trying to raise enough money for a Razor scooter, sources confirmed that Mayor Levar Stoney opened a lemonade stand on Saturday in an effort to help fund Richmond Public Schools. [read more ... ]

Gillespie Staffer Fired for Not Finding Northam Pictures During Election

RICHMOND, Va. — Entirely convinced that his campaign staff’s inability to find Northam’s yearbook photos showing him dressed in racist attire cost him the 2017 election, former gubernatorial candidate Ed Gillespie has fired former staffer [read more ... ]

Joe Morrissey Spotted in Voting Line With Brown Paper Bag Over His Head

HENRICO, Va. — Two years after his unsuccessful campaign as an independent candidate in Richmond’s 2016 mayoral election, lawyer Joe Morrissey was seen standing in line at his voting precinct wearing a brown paper bag over his head, witnesses [read more ... ]

Northam Reduces Capitol Security by Sitting in Rocking Chair on Porch With Shotgun Over Shoulder

RICHMOND, Va. — Citing the importance of keeping under the fiscal budget, Gov. Ralph Northam plans to reduce nightly security around the Capitol and instead protect the Executive Mansion himself by sitting on the front porch in his rocking chair [read more ... ]

Mayor Stoney Wears Cut-Off Slacks, Tie to Council Meeting

RICHMOND, Va. — In an effort to maintain his reputation as the “cool mayor” while still appearing professional, Mayor Levar Stoney wore cut-off pants and a tie to a recent Richmond City Council meeting, sources confirmed Friday. “Summertime [read more ... ]

Richmond City Council Meeting Postponed Due to Agreement

RICHMOND, Va. — A Richmond City Council meeting scheduled for July 23 has been postponed after council members discovered that they were in complete agreement on every issue on the upcoming docket. Council President Chris Hilbert attributes the [read more ... ]