Tom Periello

Trump Points to Coal in Stocking as Proof of Virginia Coal Industry Booming

WASHINGTON — Stock prices are expected to soar when trading resumes after President Trump pointed to the vast amounts of coal in his stocking on Christmas morning as definitive proof that Virginia’s coal industry is booming. The President awoke [read more ... ]

Joe Morrissey Spotted in Voting Line With Brown Paper Bag Over His Head

HENRICO, Va. — Two years after his unsuccessful campaign as an independent candidate in Richmond’s 2016 mayoral election, lawyer Joe Morrissey was seen standing in line at his voting precinct wearing a brown paper bag over his head, witnesses [read more ... ]

Northam Reduces Capitol Security by Sitting in Rocking Chair on Porch With Shotgun Over Shoulder

RICHMOND, Va. — Citing the importance of keeping under the fiscal budget, Gov. Ralph Northam plans to reduce nightly security around the Capitol and instead protect the Executive Mansion himself by sitting on the front porch in his rocking chair [read more ... ]

Mayor Stoney Wears Cut-Off Slacks, Tie to Council Meeting

RICHMOND, Va. — In an effort to maintain his reputation as the “cool mayor” while still appearing professional, Mayor Levar Stoney wore cut-off pants and a tie to a recent Richmond City Council meeting, sources confirmed Friday. “Summertime [read more ... ]

Richmond City Council Meeting Postponed Due to Agreement

RICHMOND, Va. — A Richmond City Council meeting scheduled for July 23 has been postponed after council members discovered that they were in complete agreement on every issue on the upcoming docket. Council President Chris Hilbert attributes the [read more ... ]

Fairfax Seen Running out of Executive Mansion With Jar to Catch Lightning Bugs

RICHMOND, Va. — Remarking on his excitement about all the glowy things flying around in the front yard of the Executive Mansion, Lt. Gov. Justin Fairfax was seen running outside with a jar to catch lightning bugs, sources confirmed Friday. “I [read more ... ]

Trump Names Dominion’s Chief Lump of Coal as New Head of EPA

WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump has tapped former Dominion Energy executive and senior chunk of coal ash, Elliot Alesworth Bernard III, to replace the departing administrator of the Environmental Protection Agency, Scott Pruitt, who resigned [read more ... ]

Northam Grants Parental Leave to State Workers, Offers to Deliver Everyone’s Babies

RICHMOND, Va. — Gov. Ralph Northam has given Virginia state employees a new reason to get down and dirty. Through a pair of executive orders, Northam granted each employee up to eight weeks of paid parental leave. Northam made the new policy [read more ... ]

Levar Stoney Opens Lemonade Stand to Raise Money for Public Schools

RICHMOND, Va. — Stating that the idea worked when he was a kid trying to raise enough money for a Razor scooter, sources confirmed that Mayor Levar Stoney opened a lemonade stand on Saturday in an effort to help fund Richmond Public Schools. [read more ... ]