Tom Periello

Richmond City Council Meeting Postponed Due to Agreement

RICHMOND, Va. — A Richmond City Council meeting scheduled for July 23 has been postponed after council members discovered that they were in complete agreement on every issue on the upcoming docket. Council President Chris Hilbert attributes the [read more ... ]

Fairfax Seen Running out of Executive Mansion With Jar to Catch Lightning Bugs

RICHMOND, Va. — Remarking on his excitement about all the glowy things flying around in the front yard of the Executive Mansion, Lt. Gov. Justin Fairfax was seen running outside with a jar to catch lightning bugs, sources confirmed Friday. “I [read more ... ]

Trump Names Dominion’s Chief Lump of Coal as New Head of EPA

WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump has tapped former Dominion Energy executive and senior chunk of coal ash, Elliot Alesworth Bernard III, to replace the departing administrator of the Environmental Protection Agency, Scott Pruitt, who resigned [read more ... ]

Northam Grants Parental Leave to State Workers, Offers to Deliver Everyone’s Babies

RICHMOND, Va. — Gov. Ralph Northam has given Virginia state employees a new reason to get down and dirty. Through a pair of executive orders, Northam granted each employee up to eight weeks of paid parental leave. Northam made the new policy [read more ... ]

Corey Stewart Declares War on Progress

LYNCHBURG, Va. — Perennial Republican candidate Corey Stewart has announced a new initiative in hopes of bolstering his own political fortunes by declaring a war on progress. “Since the wars on drugs, terror, and Christmas, respectively, have [read more ... ]

Northam Visits Every Elementary School to Check Children for Head Lice

WAYNESBORO, Va. — Stressing the importance of the Commonwealth’s youth maintaining a healthy and hygienic lifestyle, Gov. Ralph Northam continued his tour of the state today with visits to local elementary schools to personally check all of the [read more ... ]

Northam Thrown out of General Assembly for Throwing Lozenges from Gallery

RICHMOND, Va. — Asserting that the physical health of the representatives was his main concern, Gov. Ralph Northam had to be escorted from the General Assembly today after throwing handfuls of cough drops at delegates from the gallery overlooking [read more ... ]

Northam’s Proposed Medicaid Plan Involves Him Operating on You Himself

RICHMOND, Va. — Less than two weeks after Virginia Governor Ralph Northam’s inauguration, the Democratic doctor has begun to open up about the details of his policy plans. Having run on a staunch platform of government support for citizens’ [read more ... ]

Northam Announces First Act as Governor Is to Remove Passed Out Terry McAuliffe From Capitol Lawn

RICHMOND, Va. — Following the events of his inauguration weekend, Governor Ralph Northam announced this morning that his first official act will be to remove former Governor Terry McAuliffe from the Capitol’s lawn. McAuliffe reportedly passed [read more ... ]