Tysons Corner

Out of Work Tysons Corner Mall Santa Takes up Back Alley Lap-Sitting

From now until Christmas, we’re donating any revenue from merchandise sales to the Holli Fund, which provides relief to Richmond food service workers in crisis. Check out the online store here: https://teespring.com/stores/the-peedmont. Learn [read more ... ]

Family Traveling From Fairfax to Richmond Leaves Now to Make It in Time for Christmas

FAIRFAX, Va. — Determined to make it to her mother’s house in Richmond by Christmas morning, Lydia Manderson and her family are leaving their Fairfax County home right now, sources confirmed Sunday. RELATED (article continued below): Ghost of [read more ... ]

Zillow Now Advertising Nuclear Blast Radius in Northern Virginia Listings

ARLINGTON, Va. — Touting a new feature that will bring neighborhood safety and security to the next level, popular home purchasing app Zillow will begin disclosing where Northern Virginia houses fall in the event of a nuclear attack on the [read more ... ]

Manassas Resident Really Stretching Definition of D.C. Area

MANASSAS, Va. — Emphasizing that his hometown lies only a few minutes away from the nation’s capitol, Manassas resident Jacob Rich is really stretching the definition of the D.C. area, sources confirmed Sunday. Rich was recently seen in a [read more ... ]

Tysons Corner Parking Garage Standoff Hits Hour 92

TYSONS CORNER, Va. — In the madness of the Christmas shopping rush, a standoff between drivers for a parking space in Tysons Corner Parking Garage C has hit its 92nd hour, officials confirmed Saturday. RELATED (article related below): Our online [read more ... ]

Officials Monitoring Migrant Caravan of Tech Bros Moving Across the US in Search of Amazon Jobs

ARLINGTON, Va. — The announcement of Amazon’s HQ2 location in Arlington has sparked a migrant caravan of tech bros moving across the US in search of job opportunities, sources confirmed Tuesday. RELATED (article continued below): The [read more ... ]

Jeff Sessions Seen Auditioning for Tysons Corner Christmas Elf

TYSONS, Va. — After being forced to resign by President Trump, former Attorney General Jeff Sessions was spotted this week by early Christmas shoppers at Tysons Corner Center trying out to be one of Santa’s helper elves, sources confirmed [read more ... ]

Passenger Jumps out of Uber to Avoid Conversation with Driver

TYSONS CORNER, Va. — In a desperate attempt to avoid discussing what he does for work and how long he’s lived in the area, Arlington resident David Murphy jumped out of an Uber after his driver made numerous failed attempts at [read more ... ]

Arlington Trivia Team Unable to Agree on Snarky Name, Disbands

ARLINGTON, Va. — Unable to handle the pressures of choosing a snarky yet sophisticated name for their group, an Arlington-based trivia team has chosen to disband and dissolve its membership effective immediately. Witnesses to the dispute claim [read more ... ]