UVA

Friday Night in UVA Bar Going to Come up in 2050 Senate Hearing

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. — Future Deputy Attorney General Austin Spencer “Rex” Rexhall’s Friday night at Charlottesville’s famed Trinity Irish Pub will definitely come up during his 2050 Senate hearing, sources confirmed Monday. RELATED [read more ... ]

“Well, Can’t Be Worse Than Last Year,” Says JMU Basketball Coach Louis Rowe

HARRISONBURG, Va. — Coming off a disappointing 10-22 season, Louis Rowe, head coach of JMU’s men’s basketball team, is optimistic for the sole reason that expectations could not be lower. Citing scheming issues and the fact that a few teams on [read more ... ]

UVA Student in Search of Fresh New Monocle Ahead of Fall Semester

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. — After a tumultuous first year at the University of Virginia, rising sophomore Samuel Wilkerson has decided to turn things around and start fresh in the fall with the help of a brand new monocle. “When I first arrived at [read more ... ]

Charlottesville ABC Stores to Begin Offering Boxed Wine Decanters

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. — In an effort to preserve the integrity of their assorted boxed wine varietals, Virginia ABC has launched the sale of boxed wine decanters in Charlottesville stores. The new decanters, which resemble plastic milk jugs, are [read more ... ]

Terry McAuliffe Goes to Beach Week, Made Honorary Delta Nu

VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. — Driven by a desire to blow off some steam in the summer season, former Gov. Terry McAuliffe let loose on the Virginia Beach boardwalk last week and emerged as an honorary member of the Delta Nu sorority. After drunkenly [read more ... ]

Charlottesville Bar Removes All but One Shelf to Advertise Top-Shelf Liquor to UVA Bros

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. — A restaurant near the University of Virginia campus announced innovative plans today to consolidate all of their liquor to a single shelf to appeal to the members of Greek life that frequent the bar. Slippery Pete’s, a [read more ... ]

Global Sperry Shortage Causes Panic On UVA Campus

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. – What started out as a normal week at Charlottesville’s prestigious campus quickly spiraled into chaos as a worldwide shortage of Sperry’s brand of shoes struck the area. The shortage is the result of both insufficient [read more ... ]

UVA Student Dead After Winning “Comey Testimony Drinking Game”

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. — Tragedy struck the beautiful University of Virginia campus yesterday when Andrew Dunivan, a junior majoring in sociology, passed away after claiming victory in a “James Comey Testimony” drinking game. The event took [read more ... ]