Virginia Tech

James Madison University Men’s Basketball Team Training Hard for March Madness Watch Party

HARRISONBURG, Va. — After a rousing season that could be best described as “meh,” the James Madison University men’s basketball team is training fervently and hitting their stride heading into their annual March Madness watch party. [read more ... ]

Virginia Tech Prematurely Scores 20 Points Against UVA Ahead of Saturday Matchup Following Coach’s Departure

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. — Following Virginia Tech (VT) head football coach Justin Fuente’s sudden departure last week, V.T. has already scored 20 points against University of Virginia (U.V.A.) ahead of their Saturday matchup, officials confirmed [read more ... ]

Brewery Patron Too Shy to Order Something Else After Sampling Disgusting Pilsner

RICHMOND, Va. — Museum District resident Brock Samuels was forced to endure a disgusting pilsner after being overcome with shyness at the prospect of ordering something else once he tasted a free sample of the pilsner, sources confirmed this [read more ... ]

William and Mary to Begin Accepting “Arm and Leg” as Tuition Payment

WILLIAMSBURG, Va. – Following a recent increase in tuition cost, the College of William and Mary has announced that they will now accept “an arm and a leg” as means of payment for attending the school. This new form of tuition has been [read more ... ]

Study Finds 73 Percent of JMU Students Are Just People Planning to Transfer to UVA

HARRISONBURG, Va. — Not every James Madison University (JMU) student is in it for the long haul. A 14-month study, conducted by the JMU Office of the Registrar, uncovered that 73 percent of students only attended the university because they were [read more ... ]

Virginia Tech Offensive Line to Be Tested for Performance-Diminishing Drugs

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. — Following a fourth quarter collapse against their longtime rival, the Virginia Cavaliers, in Friday’s Commonwealth Cup, the offensive line of the Virginia Tech Hokies is now suspected of using performance-diminishing drugs [read more ... ]

Richmond City Donates 7,000 Apples to Local Teachers in Lieu of Increasing Education Budget

RICHMOND, Va. —Thanks to an innovative partnership with Carter Mountain Orchard, Publix, J. Sargeant Reynolds Community College, Apple Inc., and several community leaders, Richmond Public Schools (RPS) announced plans to donate 7,000 apples to [read more ... ]

In Obvious Deal With Satan, UVA Football Ranked No. 25 in AP Poll

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. — UVA football opened this week as the 25th-ranked college team in the country according to the AP Top 25 poll, in what was clearly the result of a bargain with the Prince of Darkness, Satan himself. RELATED (article [read more ... ]

Virginia Tech Graduate Moves to North Carolina, Shocked That No One Cares About Alma Mater

RALEIGH, N.C. — Frank Wilcox, a member of Virginia Tech’s Class of 2017, learned the hard way that it’s a different world outside of Blacksburg. Upon graduating with a degree in computer science, Wilcox accepted a job at Desai Data Systems in [read more ... ]