Virginia

Virginia General Assembly Relocated 500 Feet Away From School Tours to Accommodate Joe Morrissey

RICHMOND, Va. — Members of the Virginia General Assembly were forced to relocate on the first day of the 2020 legislative session because the presence of Sen. Joe Morrisey conflicted with a pre-planned tour of high school students, sources [read more ... ]

We Ranked Virginia’s Counties in No Particular Order

One of the things we love most about Virginia is its diversity; there are cities, countryside landscapes, beaches, mountains, and a very oddly shaped peninsula out in the east that we occasionally forget about. But what undoubtedly ties the culture [read more ... ]

Catholic Diocese of Richmond Names Father John Misty Bishop in Order to Attract Youth

RICHMOND, Va. — Bishop Barry Knestout announced today that he will be stepping down as Bishop of the Catholic Diocese of Richmond and will be replaced by Father John Misty. Father John Misty, also known as folk singer, Josh Tillman, is neither [read more ... ]

Terry McAuliffe Dragged out by Event Security After Trying to Rush Presidential Debate Stage

CLEVELAND, Oh. — In a decision fueled by political determination and a blood alcohol concentration level of 0.12, former Virginia Gov. Terry McAuliffe was forcibly dragged out of the 2020 Presidential Debate after attempting to rush the stage, [read more ... ]

“Did you know that the moonshine in ABC stores is fake?” Says Guy Who Just Fucking Got Here

RICHMOND, Va. — During a recent work happy hour, North Carolina native Steven McComas, who just fucking got here, informed his co-workers that the moonshine sold in ABC stores is actually fake. McComas, who relocated from Raleigh for a job at [read more ... ]

Is This Man the New Seal of Virginia?

RICHMOND, Va. — In recent months, the United States has been consumed by a fervor of discussion and action centering on revisiting, revising, and in certain cases replacing some of the nation’s oldest historical landmarks and traditions. As [read more ... ]

Op-ed: Don’t Fucking Touch Me

That’s right, I said it, don’t you dare fucking touch me or anyone else. That’s it. It’s a pretty simple concept to understand. As the Coronavirus spreads, many pundits on TV are asking “Is this the end of the handshake?” and positioning [read more ... ]

Study: Trip to Iceland Causes Lasting Damage to Instagram Feed, Friendships Overall

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. — A recent study published by the University of Virginia suggests that trips to Iceland can cause lasting damage to relationships, primarily through incessant Instagram posts and nonstop references in everyday conversations. [read more ... ]

In Light of ‘Fund Our Future’ Rally, Northam Bans No. 2 Pencils

RICHMOND, Va. — Following the ‘Fund Our Future’ rally in which hundreds of teachers protested for increased funding for public schools, Gov. Ralph Northam has instituted a temporary ban on No. 2 pencils in the classroom. RELATED (article [read more ... ]