Lame Freedom Trucker Doesn’t Even Honk Horn for Bystanders on Sidewalk
washington dc
Arlington Consultant Bro Poor Shamed for Qualifying for Stimulus Relief
ARLINGTON, Va. — News broke today that Brad Starr, a Deloitte consultant in Arlington, may qualified for an additional stimulus relief payment in what co-workers and friends are calling, “a total peasant move, bro.” RELATED (article [read more ... ]
Poll: Crust Punks Support D.C. to Richmond High Speed Rail Extension
RICHMOND, Va. — A recent poll showed that Richmond gutter punks are in favor of the installation of a high speed rail line between Richmond and Washington, D.C. In a rare deviation from their pessimistic outlook, the crust punk community has been [read more ... ]
Capitol Police Hope They Weren’t Too Rude To Visiting Protest-Enthusiasts
WASHINGTON — Following a riot that resulted in pro-Trump insurrectionists storming and occupying Capitol Hill, the Capitol Police Department is hopeful that their response to the situation wasn’t too rude or intimidating, sources confirmed [read more ... ]
Leader of Free World Currently in Time Out
RELATED: Amanda Chase Casts Vote by Shooting Trump’s Name on Ballot With AR-15Trump Team Accidentally Starts Border Wall At South Of The Border ResortTrump Deports White House Christmas Tree for Being From CanadaBiden Opens [read more ... ]
Zillow Now Advertising Nuclear Blast Radius in Northern Virginia Listings
ARLINGTON, Va. — Touting a new feature that will bring neighborhood safety and security to the next level, popular home purchasing app Zillow will begin disclosing where Northern Virginia houses fall in the event of a nuclear attack on the [read more ... ]
Georgetown Alumnus Makes Sure You’re Aware He Knows Three Politicians Personally
WASHINGTON — Several Georgetown students were reportedly blown away during a Sunday afternoon networking event at the popular college bar, The Tombs, when recent alumnus Paul Brownstone assured his fellow Hoyas in no uncertain terms that he knew [read more ... ]
Manassas Resident Really Stretching Definition of D.C. Area
MANASSAS, Va. — Emphasizing that his hometown lies only a few minutes away from the nation’s capitol, Manassas resident Jacob Rich is really stretching the definition of the D.C. area, sources confirmed Sunday. Rich was recently seen in a [read more ... ]
Virginia’s Major Interstates, Ranked by Sexiness
While Virginia is known for a variety of fascinating topics, one particular aspect stands out like a glowing beacon of irresistible lust: infrastructure. So we did the research on Virginia’s major interstates, and have finally reached a [read more ... ]
The Peedmont 