Washington Redskins

VCU Offers $25 Gift Card to Village Cafe for Washington Commanders

RICHMOND, Va. — Following Dan Snyder’s announcement to explore selling the Washington Commanders, Virginia Commonwealth University (VCU) has offered a $25 gift card to buy the franchise, sources confirmed Saturday. “We see this is a fantastic [read more ... ]

The Peedmont to Change Name to “Virginia Made-Up News Group”

Virginia Made-Up News Group HQ — Citing an official name change as something that has been a long time coming, Virginia’s satirical news outlet The Peedmont will be changing their name temporarily to “Virginia Made-Up News Group,” the [read more ... ]

Washington Redskins Change Name to ‘Industrialized Agriculture’ to Maintain Cowboys Rivalry

WASHINGTON — In a move to address the racial undertones behind the team’s name, the Washington Redskins have rebranded themselves as Industrialized Agriculture to keep the rivalry alive with the Dallas Cowboys, sources confirmed Sunday. [read more ... ]

A Peedmont Guide to Dealing with Northern Virginians During the World Series

After fifteen seasons of missed opportunities, unrealized potential, frustration, and outright irrelevance, the Washington Nationals have finally made it to the World Series. And following Wednesday’s road win against the Houston Astros, the [read more ... ]

Commanders Training Camp Converted into Haunted House

RICHMOND, Va. — In the midst of a season of soul-crushing losing, the Washington Commanders have announced that, in order to try and bolster some midseason interest in the 1-6 disaster that vaguely resembles a football team, they will convert the [read more ... ]

Alex Smith Hopes They Just Kill Him Next Time

LANDOVER, Md. — In a somber press conference delivered after Tuesday’s team practice, Washington Redskins quarterback, Alex Smith told members of the press that while he’s uncertain of his playing future at this stage in his recovery from last [read more ... ]

Stoney Changes Locks on Redskins Training Camp Facility Following Team Departure

RICHMOND, Va. — Upon receiving a parting honk and wave from the final moving van as it turned down W. Leigh Street toward I-95, Richmond Mayor Levar Stoney immediately began changing the locks on all doors and points of entry to the Bon Secours [read more ... ]

Midlothian Man Who Never Watches Football Ready to Kill You If You Talk During the Commercials

CHESTERFIELD, Va. — Claiming that the commercials are the most entertaining part of the Super Bowl and that you’d better shut the hell up while they’re on, Midlothian resident Roger Hampton is ready to kill you if you talk during the game’s [read more ... ]

Multi-Million Dollar Facility That Sits Vacant 347 Days of the Year Becomes Occupied During Redskins Training Camp

RICHMOND, Va. ⎯ After being completely unused for 95% of the calendar year, there is a shocking development at the Bon Secours Washington Redskins Training Facility. It’s occupied. “I was walking my dog down the street,” says a local citizen [read more ... ]