white house

GOP Promises Record Number of Thoughts and Prayers to Combat Gun Violence

WASHINGTON — Following the aftermath of yet another tragic shooting that has left multiple people dead in Chesapeake, Va., Republican leaders throughout the House and Senate announced their promise to combat the nation’s gun violence epidemic [read more ... ]

White House Elf on the Shelf Revealed to be Ukranian Whistleblower

WASHINGTON — After months of anonymity, the whistleblower responsible for an official impeachment inquiry into President Donald Trump revealed themselves this morning via a scribbled note left next to a slightly opened cookie jar in the White [read more ... ]

Siegel Center Sues White House Over Name “House of Havoc”

WASHINGTON – Citing theft of unique branding, Virginia Commonwealth University (VCU) has filed a lawsuit against the Biden administration over use of the branded phrase “House of Havoc” in reference to the White House. VCU created the term [read more ... ]

Supervillain Jeff Bezos Uses Government Shutdown to Steal All National Monuments

WASHINGTON — Broadcasting live from the bowels of his new lair in Crystal City, Amazon CEO and unapologetic supervillain Jeff Bezos announced yesterday that he had taken advantage of the government shutdown in Washington to finally fulfill his [read more ... ]

Stormy Daniels Loses Papermoon Gig to Some Chick Named Florence

RICHMOND, Va. — Adult film actress Stormy Daniels was notified through her lawyer Michael Avenatti on Thursday that her much-anticipated performance at Richmond’s premier gentleman’s club, Papermoon, would be bumped for some no-name hussy [read more ... ]