white house

White House Elf on the Shelf Revealed to be Ukranian Whistleblower

WASHINGTON — After months of anonymity, the whistleblower responsible for an official impeachment inquiry into President Donald Trump revealed themselves this morning via a scribbled note left next to a slightly opened cookie jar in the White [read more ... ]

Siegel Center Sues White House Over Name “House of Havoc”

WASHINGTON – Virginia Commonwealth University (VCU) has filed a lawsuit against the Trump administration over use of the branded phrase “House of Havoc” in reference to the White House. VCU created the term “House of Havoc” when Shaka [read more ... ]

GOP Promises Record Number of Thoughts and Prayers to Combat Gun Violence

WASHINGTON — Following the aftermath of yet another tragic school shooting that has left multiple people dead in El Paso, TX, GOP leaders announced their promise to combat the nation’s gun violence epidemic with a record breaking amount of [read more ... ]

Supervillain Jeff Bezos Uses Government Shutdown to Steal All National Monuments

WASHINGTON — Broadcasting live from the bowels of his new lair in Crystal City, Amazon CEO and unapologetic supervillain Jeff Bezos announced yesterday that he had taken advantage of the government shutdown in Washington to finally fulfill his [read more ... ]

Stormy Daniels Loses Papermoon Gig to Some Chick Named Florence

RICHMOND, Va. — Adult film actress Stormy Daniels was notified through her lawyer Michael Avenatti on Thursday that her much-anticipated performance at Richmond’s premier gentleman’s club, Papermoon, would be bumped for some no-name hussy [read more ... ]