williamsburg

Norfolk to Turn Aging Waterfront Property Into Industrial Wasteland

NORFOLK, Va — In order to preserve the historic character of its downtown, Norfolk City Council officials revealed plans to transform parts of the city’s dilapidated waterfront into an industrial wasteland. Officials call the strategy, developed [read more ... ]

Williamsburg Colonist Actor Really Getting on British Patrolman Actor’s Nerves

COLONIAL WILLIAMSBURG, Va. — According to eyewitness accounts on and around Duke of Gloucester Street, Williamsburg colonist reenactor Frederick Blacker has really been getting on the nerves of British patrolman reenactor Roger Smith. Recently [read more ... ]

Norfolk Resident Considering Dealing With HRBT Traffic for a Trip to New Publix

NORFOLK, Va. — Weighing the pros and cons of a trip to Williamsburg for a premier grocery store, Norfolk resident Larry Hughes is considering dealing with the notorious Hampton Roads Bridge-Tunnel traffic for a trip to Publix, sources confirmed [read more ... ]

Virginia Beach Residents Hope That Hurricane Florence Cleans up Boardwalk

VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. — Explaining that the 2018 summer season has been particularly rough in terms of beachgoers’ litter, Virginia Beach residents have their fingers crossed that Hurricane Florence will help clean up the boardwalk, officials [read more ... ]

Virginia Beach Resident Who Regularly Leaves Six-Pack Rings on Beach Upset Turbines Might Kill Birds

VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. — Claiming they will be extraordinarily hazardous to the environment, Virginia Beach resident Shelly Allen, who routinely leaves plastic trash along the beachfront, has launched a protest against the offshore turbines scheduled [read more ... ]

Portsmouth Working to Become “Smart City,” Upgrading From Netscape

PORTSMOUTH, Va. — Stressing the importance of keeping up with technology in a digital age, Portsmouth city officials announced plans to upgrade the citywide internet browser from Netscape to a more modern browser. According to Micah Brookerson, a [read more ... ]

William and Mary to Begin Accepting “Arm and Leg” as Tuition Payment

WILLIAMSBURG, Va. – Following a recent increase in tuition cost, the College of William and Mary has announced that they will now accept “an arm and a leg” as means of payment for attending the school. This new form of tuition has been [read more ... ]

Op-ed: That Law That Prohibits Cursing on the Virginia Beach Boardwalk Is Fucking Bullshit

If you’re a true Virginian who hits the luscious shores of Virginia Beach every other weekend during the summer months, then chances are you’re familiar with one of the state’s most unique laws. The law loosely states that no cursing or swear [read more ... ]

After Long-Standing Rivalry With Cockroaches, House Centipedes Dubbed Official Pest of Norfolk

NORFOLK, Va. — After years locked in an intense stalemate over which household pest reigns supreme, the Norfolk City Council has announced that house centipedes, not cockroaches, will now be the official pest of Norfolk. “The wait is finally [read more ... ]