GROOM LAKE, Nv. — Following unconfirmed reports of an unreleased version of Hardywood’s acclaimed Gingerbread Stout, thousands of Virginians have committed to the Area 51 raid scheduled for this September.
“We’ve heard that somewhere in an underground bunker out there, there’s a classified vault that contains a few cases of a never-before seen Gingerbread Stout,” Rob Kleiner, a local craft beer enthusiast currently enroute to the highly classified facility, explained in an interview, adding that the vault was said to be located next to some kind of advanced bio-chemical weapons lab.
“Apparently this edition has added bits of cocoa and hints of aged molasses, and if that’s the case I can see why the military has been covering it up for themselves for all these years. Forget the aliens, we’re after the beer; and hopefully everyone else going for the aliens causes a distraction with the guards.”
Additional reports confirmed that at the time of reporting, dozens of heavily bearded, flannel-wearing craft beer aficionados had begun camping out in the desert to ensure their position in line to take home one of the rumored cases of the beloved beer for themselves.
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