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Proposal to Rename Lynchburg “Burgburg” Reaches State Committee

LYNCHBURG, Va. — Despite being named for founder and abolitionist John Lynch, a proposal to rename Lynchburg “Burgburg” has made its way to a state committee and may soon become official.

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Suggested by the three-year-old son of a city employee, the name “Burgburg” came after a swift selection process that included several other contenders. Proposed names included Lynchlynch, North Danville, Jeffersondavishighwayville, and the Jerry Falwell Compound of Moral Family Values and Armed Self-Defense Through the Teachings of Christ Because We Said So, but all were eventually dismissed due to lack of support.

“Golly, this renaming process has been surprisingly difficult,” JoEllen Johnson of the naming committee noted. “Seems like everyone is just so dang politically correct and overly sensitive these days.”

“We have several lovely spas I frequent,” Johnson continued. “I thought to myself ‘well heck, let’s call it White Robe Holler.’ I mean, who doesn’t love that feeling of slipping on a nice soft plush white robe after getting your anus bleached, but nope, apparently that’s racist.”

The name change is expected to have broad bipartisan support from Virginia lawmakers, though Sen. Amanda Chase (R-Chesterfield) has voiced opposition, saying the new name “doesn’t sound European enough.”

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32 Comments on Proposal to Rename Lynchburg “Burgburg” Reaches State Committee

  1. Brianv Morrison // June 29, 2020 at 12:06 pm // Reply

    How about Liberty city,

    Like

    • Lisa Chandler // June 30, 2020 at 7:43 am // Reply

      The Burg
      Would definitely be a great rename for Lynchburg
      Lisa Chandler

      Like

    • How about leaving it Lynchburg? I would feel like an idiot saying I’m from Burgburg. That is so idiotic. Changing the name of toothpaste because it says whitening now too? Why don’t we take white out of the dictionary? Oh, i know why, because Caucasian people are still white people. Look, it was awful what happened to George Floyd but at some point I would love to know there is no need for all these race wars. Slavery ended in 1865…….and we are getting dumber and dumber. I didn’t own slaves no one can remember any family member being a slave and this is ridiculous. I will not ever call this Lynchburg.

      Like

  2. John Chapman // June 29, 2020 at 12:56 pm // Reply

    This is a joke, right?

    Like

  3. Dan Watson // June 29, 2020 at 1:00 pm // Reply

    Why change the name of the city of seven hills? Is it because the city has a agreement with the state not to annex any more people and property until 2075 ,I know that there are developers and realtors that would like to be able to push their agenda for profit as it is now the city is unable to keep up with the needs of the upkeep of things. The last annexation has proved that.

    Like

  4. When you don’t believe these people can get any dumber, they come up with a stupid idea like this.

    Like

  5. Eric Gipson // June 29, 2020 at 1:11 pm // Reply

    Has anyone considered renaming it “Liberty City”?

    Like

    • Everyone commenting on how dumb this is…guess none of you know what satire is or that this site calls itself (at the top of every page) “Virginia’s Most Trusted Satirical News Source”? Everything on this page is a made up joke, getting upset shows that none of you have critical thinking skills.

      Like

      • Donald L Wilson // June 29, 2020 at 11:59 pm //

        I guess @ 16 people so far missed this at the very top righthand section
        “Virginia’s Most Trusted Satirical News Source”

        Like

  6. Lunchburg
    “Here Every Day”

    Ynchburg
    “Moving Right Along”

    Like

  7. This is absolutely stupid. I was born in Lynchburg not burg burg nor will I ever refer to that town to whatever name it changes too. If you don’t like the name of the town…move!!

    I want to sign a petition for it to keep the name!

    Like

    • This is rediculous. It’s been called Lynchburg for almost 250 years and no one ever had a problem with it. If it MUST be changed I think it should still honor it’s founder John Lynch so maybe Johnburg. Then again maybe that offend some transgender man.

      Like

  8. Laura Hall // June 29, 2020 at 2:56 pm // Reply

    How do we vote against this?

    Like

  9. This is just stupid. I would be embarrassed to put that as my address

    Like

  10. Seven Hills is a good choice for a rename. I also like Riverdell

    Like

  11. By a three year old, really. Burgburg is ridiculous. The name has nothing to do with lynching. Get out of here with that nonsense.

    Like

  12. Judy Bradley // June 29, 2020 at 6:41 pm // Reply

    How stupid are these people who want to change the name of our city. Is it a power thing? Why do a few speak for the many? How embarrassing is the name Burgburg? Why is everything racially motivated? John Lynch—Lynch’s Ferry—REALLY!

    Like

    • Martin Bradford // July 3, 2020 at 1:50 pm // Reply

      Please for the love of god look at site’s banner it literally says “Virginia’s Most Trusted Satirical News Source”

      Like

  13. Jackie Snead // June 29, 2020 at 6:41 pm // Reply

    Either Seven Hills or Hill City would be appropriate

    Like

  14. BULLSHIT! This is either a joke or your basically telling us they are going to change the name of Lynchburg and give no legitimate reason why. Then hide behind some kid with a garbage name for a city and a list of more garbage suggestions. Who dim idea was this? Name your house Burgburg or whatever garbage name you want and leave Lynchburg alone!

    Like

  15. William Pennington // June 30, 2020 at 7:23 am // Reply

    This is the craziest thing I ever heard of, I have lived in and around Lynchburg all my life. Now because of some folks think they are owed something because of their ancestors were slaves and such. I don’t understand the logic behind any of this, it’s not going to make people change. If people can’t that this movement is just as racist against everyone as they they claim it is against them then I guess we have allowed whiners to change everything this Country has stood for!

    Like

  16. William Pennington // June 30, 2020 at 7:26 am // Reply

    This is the craziest thing I ever heard of, I have lived in and around Lynchburg all my life. Now because of some folks think they are owed something because of their ancestors being slaves and such. I don’t understand the logic behind any of this, it’s not going to make people change. If people can’t see that this movement is just as racist against everyone as they they claim it is against them then I guess we have allowed whiners to change everything this Country has stood for!

    Like

  17. Shirley Brioks // June 30, 2020 at 8:15 am // Reply

    How about Lynchburg. People please stop.

    Like

  18. Nothing wrong with the name Lynchburg. Has nothing to do with what people want you to believe. Leave it alone. Who decides this

    Like

  19. BlueRidge, Va, or University Va.Anything is better than burgburg

    Like

  20. This is a direct attack on our heritage and our history why do you want to change the name of a city that was named after an abolitionist a man who was against slavery I thought all the protest was about racial Injustice this has nothing to do with racial Injustice it’s about somebody trying to make a name for them self if you don’t like the name Lynchburg by all means leave it’s just like destroying statues of abolitionist it’s absurd look at what the real cause is behind this and by the way I have a message for any Republican that’s running for governor that supports this I will not vote for you

    Like

  21. Ira M Quillen // June 30, 2020 at 8:37 pm // Reply

    Having lived there for a long time, I see no good reason to change the name of Lynchburg, but if I had to come up with a new name, I would say something like James Ferry…

    Like

  22. This is satire, as noted, but to clarify the issue for those who insist Lynchburg’s origins are wholly separate from notion of lynching, that’s only partially correct. The actual term “lynching” is derived from the acts of John Lynch’s brother during the Revolutionary War. It wasn’t racially motivated, but the horrific crime was absolutely linked to John Lynch’s family. Some note that John Lynch was a Quaker and did not support slavery, but he was an abolitionist more in line with Cotton Mather and believed in recolonization. I.e., he didn’t believe slaves were equals who should be permitted to stay once freed. History is always much more complicated than we make it out to be.

    Like

  23. Priscilla // July 1, 2020 at 8:40 am // Reply

    It shouldn’t never been given the name with (Lynch) anyway my thought is name it Burgcity, Va. It has a nice ring then make sure they change Lynch Station name

    Like

  24. Fynchburg
    “Not for the birds”

    Like

  25. Donald Johnson // July 10, 2020 at 4:16 pm // Reply

    Roanoke changed its name and never looked back; Big Lick is available again for Lynchburg to consider.

    Don’t say it’s a bad idea just because Falwell supports it.

    Like

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