RICHMOND, Va. — The Joel Bieber Firm announced today that the newest member of his legal team will be none other than pop music star Justin Bieber.
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“I am so excited to welcome Justin into my world,” Joel Bieber, the company’s head attorney, said in a statement. “He may not have the experience, but he’s got the name, so he’s at least 25% of the way there. We’ll have him ready to take the bar exam in no time.”
“Now, if you’ve been injured in an accident, call us, because we’ll never say never,” he added.
While many were shocked by this announcement, uncertain if it was true or just another one of Joel Bieber’s marketing campaigns, Justin Bieber confirmed the announcement on his own Instagram page.
“I’ve been looking to make a career change,” his post read. “Ever since Hailey and I got married, I’ve been wanting a more stable, 9-to-5 kind of work environment that will allow me to be home every night once we have a baby, baby, baby ooooh.”
Justin went on to explain that he was flipping through TV channels when he heard the “Call Joel Bieber” line from one of the firm’s commercials. “I took it as a sign. When Joel picked up and I explained my situation, he came to me right way, even though I wasn’t hurt, at least not physically.”
Joel Bieber elaborated, adding that even though the entirety of Justin’s legal experience is composed solely of run-ins with the law which include vandalism, DUI, and assault charges, he sees a lot of potential in the young celebrity.
“When I first talked to Justin,” Joel said, “I could tell he had something special by his voice. Then when he told me who he was, I figured I could use him to promote the firm.”
“It was either that or go back to running my spaceship ads again,” he added.
At the time of press, Justin was hard at work on his first assignment, remixing the firm’s iconic jingle.
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