Richmond

CoStar Expansion Pledges To Bring 2,000 More Terrible Hinge Dates to Richmond

RICHMOND, Va. — Touting what they claim will be substantial growth to the worst parts of the city’s dating pool, CoStar Group has pledged that their expansion will bring 2,000 more terrible Hinge dates to the city of Richmond, the company [read more ... ]

Commonwealth Leaders Confident They Can Go Back To Ignoring Gun Violence Within the Next 72 Hours

RICHMOND, Va. — After yet another mass shooting at a high school graduation ceremony both Richmond and Commonwealth leaders are confident that they can go back into ignoring gun violence within the next few days “This week has been full of [read more ... ]

Humble City Landlord Raises Rent $20 Less Than Other Landlords as Way of Giving Back to Community

RICHMOND, Va. — Giving himself a huge pat on the back for being goodhearted, local landlord Joe Greenford announced today his plans to raise rents slightly less than his competitors throughout the city. Greenford, who made zero structural or [read more ... ]

“People Moving From NOVA to Richmond Are Ruining Our City” Reports Guy Who Moved Here in 2018

RICHMOND, Va. — Claiming that gentrification is a serious problem throughout the city limits, current Richmond inhabitant and former Arlington resident Nicholas Chesley says there are too many people from Northern Virginia moving to Richmond, [read more ... ]

Levar Stoney Frantically Searches City Hall Closet for Extension Cord for RVA Illuminates

RICHMOND, Va. — Racing against time, Mayor Levar Stoney was seen desperately searching a storage closet in city hall for an extension cord needed for RVA Illuminates, city officials confirmed Friday. “Oh, no. No. No. No,” Stoney told [read more ... ]

We Ranked the Sexiest Buildings in Richmond

Richmond’s buildings and romance go hand-in-hand, just like you and your lover frolicking through Maymont on a perfect fall afternoon. So, without anyone asking, we’ve decided to give the people of Richmond something they never knew they needed [read more ... ]

Richmond Police Reports They’re the Ones Who Killed Bin Laden

RICHMOND, Va. — Claiming their efforts as one of the police department’s best victories yet, the Richmond Police Department (RPD) has taken responsibility for coordinating the raid that killed Osama bin Laden, the department confirmed Monday. [read more ... ]

Starbucks Warns Other Locations Attempting to Unionize About the Dangers of Earning More Money

RICHMOND, Va. — Following the successful union votes of five locations across the Richmond area, Starbucks issued warnings to other stores regarding the dangers of higher wages, sources confirmed Tuesday. “We firmly advise that our valued [read more ... ]

Report: Casino Going Somewhere, Nobody Happy

RICHMOND, Va. — Explaining that the entire Richmond population is likely going to be frustrated about one thing or another regarding this casino, a recent report by city officials confirmed that nobody is going to be happy with whatever location [read more ... ]