Arrest Lineup for Southern Railway Taphouse Fight Made Up Entirely of Chads

RICHMOND, Va. — A group of local residents face charges after allegedly participating in a fight at Southern Railway Taphouse.

The incident began when 23-year-old victim Chad Griffin was shoved forward by another bar patron. The individual then spilled his beverage onto Griffin, and a fist fight ensued among multiple male bar guests.

“I don’t know, bro, I was just talking to this chick, when all of a sudden some dude spilled Bud Light all over me,” recalls Griffin. “My khakis got wet, but my Sperrys were soaked. I just got these last week.” Griffin then discussed the difficulties of cleaning beer off of Sperry shoes.

“Then my fraternity brothers, Chad Reesor and Chad Malone, came to see what was up,” Griffin continued, “My bros always have my back. Chad asked the dude who knocked into me what that was all about, and the dude gave him lip. Next thing I knew, man, punches started flying.”

Reesor threw his first punch at the initial perpetrator in question, Chad Roberts. Roberts had been talking to his friend Chad Montgomery. According to reports, the altercation started when Roberts backed into Griffin. “Next thing I knew, these dudes were threatening me. I didn’t know what that was about, man,” read Roberts’s statement to police. Montgomery reinforced the statement.

Shortly after the disturbance, security hustled through the crowd and ushered the men outside onto the sidewalk.

All five men were put under arrest outside the bar.